Someone So Perfect (JeffMads)

If Only I Could Tell You

My dearest Thomas,

I shouldn't call you 'my dearest'. After all, you'll never be mine. You'll always be within my reach, yet I'll just be grabbing at thin air. You'll always be walking just ahead of me, but I'll always fall behind. I'm just a failure, a burden, a sick man that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near someone such as yourself. So why do I stand beside you everyday?

Everyday I think about the circumstances of our first meeting. When I first saw you, you were almost glowing. Angelic. The perfect person. There was nothing in this world that could have convinced me that you would have even thought of  glancing over to me that day, approaching me and giving me that damned smile of yours. But you did.

Everyday I think about our close friendship. Why did someone like me get to foster a relationship more than mere acquaintances with you? Why did you allow me into your life? Why did you converse with me that fateful day when you could have easily walked by? Why do I love you? Why do I hope everyday that you might even have an ounce of affection for me? Why does my mind buzz with so many thoughts when you're around? Why does anything happen? Why?

Everyday I think about you. You're intelligent, witty, confident...everything I wish I could be. But I can't be. I never will be. If only I could tell you in person. But, of course, I'm doomed to be the timid little ball of sorrow that I am and write everything down. Why, how silly of me to think you'd actually read this! I shan't waste anymore ink than I already have writing this stupid little confession...

Regards,

James Madison

The neat handwriting that illustrated James' feelings amazed Thomas as he placed a hand to his heart. "Aw, James!" He read over the letter again, which caused James' face to get increasingly red.

"No, it's stupid!" He reached up and tried to take the letter back, but Thomas quickly turned away and shook his head.

"I'd like to keep this, if you please. It's very sweet." Thomas smiled, folding the letter and tucking it into his inner pocket. "You shouldn't be ashamed of this, I..." He trailed off, holding out his arms for a hug. "I do love you too. I always did."

James looked at Thomas in utter disbelief, almost falling backwards in shock. In silence, he rushed forward and accepted the offered hug, burying his face into the taller man's chest. Thomas smiled wider, holding James close as the sky's colours began to mix together.