Someone So Perfect (JeffMads)

Go Away

Another dreary day as James sat in his office staring at the bouquet from yesterday that he had decided to at least try and keep alive in a small vase. He wasn't going to just let some innocent flowers die, even if they were gifted by Jefferson. Sometimes James wished he wasn't so nice all the time. Wasn't so cowardly. If he could, he definitely would have screamed in Jefferson's face and push him to the ground. James stared blankly at his stack of work for the day, his mind unable to think straight. That is, until there was a light knock at the door. "Who is it?" He called, closing his eyes and hoping. Unfortunately his hoping wasn't enough.

"James, you haven't eaten anything today. I brought something." The door opened wide and Jefferson strolled in.

James' mood soured and he glowered at him. "I thought you weren't taking care of me anymore? Have you already gone back on your word?"

"I may be a 'monster', but at least I have the decency to ensure you get some sort of food." Jefferson retorted, setting down a bowl in front of James.

James looked down, crossing his arms. "Soup. You always bring soup."

"Anything wrong with that? Soup is filling, and you're going to need it for today by the looks of things." Jefferson eyed the stack of papers beside James.

"I refuse anything you give me from here on out." James shook his head, pushing the hot bowl away.

"This is exactly how you always were; rejecting my hospitality. But you always accepted it after a bit."

"That was the past. This is now."

"History always finds a way to repeat itself."

James stood up and turned his back on Jefferson, thoughtfully staring out the window to the cloudy sky. "I'm still trying to figure out why you talked to me. Of all the people in that room, why me?"

Jefferson silently stood, looking down into the lukewarm soup. "Because you were the only person I could tolerate at the time."

"Is that all? Because I was tolerable? So our friendship was tolerable?" James coughed slightly, feeling quite distraught at this information.

"Our friendship is everything to me, James. Surely it means something to you."

"Our friendship was everything to you. It meant something to me." James corrected Jefferson. "Doesn't feel like a friendship anymore. I'm quite certain it never was a friendship."

"Bullshit, I've always cared for you. There was nothing false about it at all. How could I possibly have fabricated those compliments?"

"White lies."

"Those hugs?"

"It's simple."

"Spending all my time with you instead of anyone else?"

"Pity for my lonesome self. You always were good at hiding your true intentions."

Jefferson ran around the desk and grabbed James' arm. "If loving you isn't my one goal in life, then what is? Tell me, James!"

James didn't respond, avoiding eye contact with Jefferson. A thousand possible answers flooded his mind, but only one managed to escape. "To lie."

"I would never lie to you."

"I disagree." James turned to face him with a hurt expression. Jefferson stared back, letting go of James' arm. "You don't understand. What's been going on is over."

"Is this another lie? I can't exactly trust you after that lie you've been living behind my back."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't trust me." Jefferson gripped James' shoulders and their faces were close.

"...Maybe." James made no effort to push back, though he definitely felt his blood boil. "Could you please leave me to my work now?"

"Can you at least eat? You really will need it."

"And can you just not pester me anymore? I've already told you, I'm not forgiving you."

"Then can you stop being such a brat about it?" Jefferson raised his voice, which slightly shook James. James recovered though, and his anger was quickly visible.

"So maybe you shouldn't be such a self-important lying prick!"

"Maybe you should stop being a miserable little wretch with the weakest immune system in the goddamn world! You know what, I should've just left you wallowing in your sorrows in bed and not gotten you a doctor. Perhaps then you would have gone and died and I wouldn't be dealing with your whiny self right now!" That made them both pause, and James felt tears welling in his eyes. Jefferson realised his hurting words, but the damage had already been done. Trying to mend these wounds would prove a challenge. "Wait, James--you know I didn't mean all that-"

"Then what did you mean?" James' throat was torn and tears streamed down his face, and he violently pushed Jefferson away. Jefferson staggered back, quickly grabbing the edge of the desk for support.

"James, I would never say such things."

"Then what was all of that from? It sure does sound like pent-up emotion, doesn't it?"

"You know what? Yes. Yes, it was. I'm always bottling up my emotions so I can be strong for you. While you get to express yourself as much as you can to me. A-And I just...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be strong for you now. I suppose I never truly will be." Jefferson replied bitterly, feeling the room grow cold. He edged forward and held James' hand to face palm up. James tried to break free, but Jefferson's grip was strong. "Don't touch me." Jefferson took something out from his pocket and shoved it in James' hand, closing it afterwards. Sighing heavily, he walked out the room and closed the door. James glanced up at the door, then back down to his closed hand. He sat at his desk, wiped away his tears, and laid the item down in front of him. Jefferson's pocket watch. Countless minutes passed as he stared down at it. Finally, he pushed it aside and pulled the bowl of soup close. James begrudgingly ate from it, cursing himself for giving in to his hunger. Although, James quickly noticed one thing.

Cold and tasteless soup can never fill an empty stomach.