All for you

Chapter 21

Day 11-14 in Base

My body clock has finally adjusted to my alarm. I wake up just as the sun is staring to rise. I feel particularly gross this morning so I flop out of bed, drag my body into the bathroom and run the spa bath.

I remembered something that was sent in the boxes. Bath bombs. Baths are my absolute favourite. You just get to sit in water, it's warm, kinda comfy and super relaxing.

As tough as I am, bath bombs are the coolest thing ever. The colours and how it bubbles and fizzes oh my god it's so cool.

I put my phone on the edge of the sink playing all my music. The lights are off and all I can hear is my breath and the occasional sounds of the water rippling.

I decide in my incredibly relaxed state that the next few days will be spent doing nothing but relaxing and chilling out and preparing. No training. No worrying. Just relaxing.

The bath water is now starting to get cool. It's not the same. I pull the plug and watch as the swirl of pink and purple and sparkles, drains down the plug hole.

I dry off, change, and stare out the window and across the water. I haven't been to the beach yet.

I walk out of the apartment, out to the street and down to the beach. I finally feel like I'm living again. The last few days has just been non stop training, meetings and other stuff. I feel in control again.

The sand is golden, my hair almost matching the colour. The water is a turquoise emerald colour. The sunlight dances on the surface as the gentle waves rush to the shore.

I pick up my thongs and walk through the edge of the water. It's surprisingly cool. The sun burns. My skin usually matches the colour of plain paper and I feel my skin shrink in the heat. But I don't mind. It's nice.

I put down my things and sit on the sand, digging my toes in under the warm granules.

I sit for hours just thinking. I had no answers for all the questions I was processing.

The sun was now high in the sky. My skin felt hot and I was getting hungry. I returned home and fall fast asleep on the couch.

I spend the next few days doing nothing except for binge watching shows, watching hundreds of YouTube videos, napping and staring aimlessly across the water.

It's nice. It's quiet. I don't have any crazy guys chasing after me for money. Yet, anyway.

With nothing else to do I reach for my phone.

"Hey babe."

"Hey. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to see what you're doing tomorrow morning."

"You sail out tomorrow, don't you?"

"Yes. Unfortunately. I was wondering if you uhh... wanted to see me off."

"Yeah. I wanna see you one last time. I'll pick you up in the morning and we can walk down."

"Ok. Well, I guess I should pack. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. Guess so."

"I love you. Be safe."

"Ditto. Bye."

It's only just stating to hit me. I'm actually doing this. I'm in the navy. I'm protecting the country and leaving behind the people that I love.

I put my phone down and crawl into bed. I squeeze my pillows tight as I feel tears well in the backs of my eyes.

And despite making heaps of new friends and having Yvan, I have never felt more alone. I lay in silence.