Hard to Love You

Chapter 15

I lied in bed and looked up at the ceiling. I lied in bed in a sports bra with a old shirt pressed against my skin with tape on my side to hold the shirt in place. I had a bandaid on my neck and I was thinking about what had happened earlier. It was around eight o'clock now and Daniel still wasn't home.

My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID and denied the call, sending it to voicemail.

Did my dad really mean it? Has he been thinking about killing me and Daniel? Are we that much of a bother to him? Does he not love us?

Tears began falling from my eyes again and I ignored them. I don't understand. Why have Daniel and I done wrong for our parents to hate us? For us to deserve this. I love my parents. It's true. But at the same time I hate them.

" Why God? Why? I'm sorry. I promise Daniel and I will do anything you say but please let our family get back together. A happy family. I'm sorry for not talking to you as much as I used to. I have no excuse. Please. God. I'm begging you."

I took shaky breaths and began sobbing. I crawled into a ball, ignoring the pain of the cut stretching on my stomach. I cried loudly and I didn't care.

" I don't fucking understand!" I shouted to no one in particular.

I cried harder and closed my eyes shut, rocking back and forth.

" Ashley?"

I snapped open my eyes and saw a blurry Tyler.

" Get the fuck out," I mumbled turning onto my side.

He shut my bedroom door and locked it.

" How the fuck did you get in my house and how the fuck did you open my bedroom door?"

" I remember where your key was and I opened the door with my credit card."

I felt his arms around me and I cried harder.

" Get out Tyler. I want to be alone," I said shakily.

I sniffled and continued to cry.

" Shh," he whispered.

He pulled me against him and he kissed the back of my neck.

I cried and shook and yelled curse words and yelled things in anger. Tyler didn't say anything as held me and after my crying settled down and I was hiccuping I turned to face him in his arms.

He wiped my eyes and my nose with his sleeve. I was too weak to even be embarrassed. I took a shaky breath and looked into his eyes.

" I trust you," I whispered to Tyler but mostly to myself.

" Don't talk. Listen. I'm going to tell you everything from the beginning of when my mom left to just now. I've never told anybody."

He looked me in the eyes and continued rubbing his hands on my back in circle motions. I took another shaky breath.

Here goes.

***

" And then you came in here," I finished off.

We looked at each other and he was still rubbing my bare back.

" Next time. Answer my calls. I knew something was up," he whispered.

I snorted.

" I'm not used to having people this close to me. Only Daniel. And he's on a date."

He shook his head.

" I told you from the beginning I'm here for you Ashley."

" We'll I'm stubborn."

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head.