Saving Zeisha - Completed √

Chapter 04

  "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." 

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~ Zeisha

Waking up today was hard. With my newly founded crush on Noah and my lack of self-esteem I was feeling rather depressed. Fear of rejection. As soon as I felt it, my defensive mode kicked in. I'm emotionally and mentally dead now.

 As I move down the hallway I see everyone around me smiling. Friends, strangers. All laughing away, like they had no care in the world. I always wonder if it's a mask, like mine. I clone what people are feeling, it's the way to blend in. Until the panic attacks start. Then it gets claustrophobic, like the world is falling on top of you, and you can't get it off, no matter how much you push. Then you feel your heart accelerating, going faster and faster as you try walk it off. The tears start welling up behind your eyelids, but you keep your head down and breathe.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and instinctively I took grasp of the hand and twist it around. I heard a groan and I look up to find Noah grumbling with  wide eyes. I at once detached his hand like it was on fire.

"Woah there sunshine. You are strong." Says Noah clearly astonished. I grin sheepishely at him. My mood lifting up seeing his emerald eyes twinkling.

"Well I do have amazing skills. Thanks!" I said as I undeniably flex my arms.

He came closer to my ears his breath sending shivers down my spine and said "That you do sweetheart". I feel butterflies emerge in my stomach. Screw butterflies, the whole zoo erupts whenever I see him.

He swing up his arm around my shoulder making me feel all kinds of jittery. 

"Lets get going Zee. First period is gonna start. We don't want you to be late again now do we?" He says winking at me. I nodded at him with a smile on my face walking towards class, ignoring the stares of people passing by.

During lunch, when me and Noah entered the cafeteria , all eyes focused on me. I thought maybe they were surprised to see Noah hanging out with me the whole day but it was not that. I tried ignoring their stares and went to sit at the table with Noah following me. Out of the blue I saw Audrey, another bitch coming towards our table with her minions at her side. She has always hated me for some reason which I obviously don't know.

When she and her minions get at our table, she throws a poster on the table looking at me with a evil smirk. When I looked at it my heart dropped and tightened at the sight. It was me with some boy kissing in the deranged football field. I clearly know that's not me because I don't talk to the boys of our school let alone kiss them. But it did affect me as tears welled up in my eyes in rage.Everyone had the same poster in their hands. I took a look at Noah whose jaw was clenched and hands were in tight fist. 

"Look everyone. Our school's slut. She has kissed every guy on the football team and now she is after Noah." She said as some laughed and some didn't as they knew who was the real slut. Audrey. Noah hasn't spoken a word and was glaring at Audrey. He looked really angry and it was like he was going to burst.

"Fucking Leave Audrey. Everyone knows Zeisha didn't do any of those things. She may not be perfect but at least she is not fake bimbo like you. Now get lost bitch!" 

Noah said in a deadly cold voice making Audrey flinch. It was really quiet in the room.I didn't wait for her reply and quickly ran out of the cafeteria.

I was having a panic attack which I didn't get often. It only happens when I am feeling very nervous. My stomach was feeling sick and I was suddenly gasping and choking for air. I could hear someone shouting and shaking me but my mind didn't register any of it. I quickly bolted to the girls bathroom and threw up until was stomach was empty. I felt someone rubbing my back soothingly. I looked up from the toilet as my traveled up the legs and landed on Noah's face.

He knelt down to my level and pushed my hair off my face. He started wiping my face with a tissue and after he was done I opened my eyes which naturally locked with Noah's emerald ones. His gaze was soft as he stared back at me with an exotic emotion in his eyes.

Before he could ask something I quickly spoke. " Thanks for siding with me. And coming up to check on me" 

"It was no problem. Are you alright? What happened?" he questioned motioning to the toilet and back to me. I can't tell him

" I don't want to talk about it." I said getting to my feet and started walking towards the bathroom exit. I barely made two steps before Noah grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

"I only want to help Zeisha" he consoled.

I sighed and shut my eyes closed feeling a headache infuse.

" It was nothing Noah. I was just sick maybe because of what happened at the cafeteria" I lied fluently.

He nodded unconvincingly with suspicion clear in his eyes. 

" Do you think I was that in the picture? That I kissed someone?" I asked gently wanting to know his answer.

" Of course not Sunshine. It was clearly photo shopped and even if you did that was in the past. I don't judge" he reasoned with no doubt in his words.

I smiled at him appreciatively and took his hand. Such small contact made me shiver slightly.

"Lets go. I am fine now. And also that you are in girl's washroom." I pointed out making him chuckle. As we passed down the hallway I looked to my side and saw Noah looking at our joined hands and smiling contagiously. That made me smile too.

My depressive thoughts supposedly vanished from my mind during the encounter with Noah and how he cared for me. It gives me hope that he might be the one helping me through my thoughts and eventually breaking down my barriers which are already coming down slowly. I can't help but feel HOPE as I think about what happened today. He is my hope.Soon I fall into darkness. SLEEPING. All my problems disappears as I enter my paradise.

*Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart*

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