Selfish

Pretty big update on my anxiety/depression

    As you could tell from the title to this chapter(?), I have anxiety and depression (if it wasn't already obvious lmao). I went to the doctor about it, what, five months ago? Since then a lot has happened. At first, my doctor prescribed me some type of birth control pill to help control my hormones and she made me start therapy. Since I'm extremely antisocial and I dislike meeting new people, you could imagine that I didn't like this idea very much, but if it would help then I was up for anything. The therapist, whose name rhymes with Brain, made me extremely uncomfortable. Whenever I didn't have anything else to say, she'd stare at me for around ten seconds until she would say anything. Needless to say, I got out of there after our fourth session. The birth control did a good job with helping calm down my hormones, but it only finalized how much I really hated myself. Recently my doctor has changed me to Prozac (a basic antidepressant medication) but I still feel the same. It was great at first, but now it's getting pretty bad again. I was on my way back from the movies and I just started thinking about if all of a sudden we got into a car crash and I died. I'll never have the courage to kill myself, I know that, but if something else could just kill me. Like if we somehow had a tornado, or a bad earthquake, or I was murdered, or hit by a car, just something that's not in my hands. I need to go back to some type of therapy, or back to the doctors, or something because I swear if this continues I'm seriously going to consider any of the above.

Thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garbage~.

And have a nice day.