'In the old days at home the Neverland had always begun to look a little dark and threatening by bedtime. Then unexplored patches arose in it and spread, black shadows moved about in them, the roar of the beasts of prey was quite different now, and...
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the thought comes back to me of when we swayed with you between my legs me on the marble top: and utopia playing.
am i born to die? what was it in my design that has gone astray?
please let my mind take me somewhere safe please let it drift home and hold on to its ghost; please let me sleep in that field of rye -- please let it rip itself apart until there is no more to tear --
water these flaming skies and console the screaming whys, the ships that i sail and destroy, let loss reveal their reason under all the turmoil that i create and the wash of that vermillion sky will surely die --
i can't tell if i am living, this war that i wage and all my fears undone -- all my rage be done when i sing my swan song that weighs in my mind --
and i know why that forest replays in my circuits the trees and their bleeding bark living dead; when all happiness is forgot and i will silent my aching song for my branches shall bleed with theirs -- joy was ripped from our roots and yet no sleep i found.
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the song is called idumea. it plays in the scene of the battle of the crater in the film cold mountain. the battle of the crater took place during the american civil war between the confederate army of northern virginia and the union army of the potomac. it was a slaughter. union soldiers swarmed into the crater and were shot at by the confederates surrounding it. it was described as a turkey shoot.
idumea lyrics:
and am i born to die? to lay this body down and my trembling spirit fly in a world unknown a land of deepest shade unpierced by human thought the dreary regions of the dead where all things are forgot
soon as from the earth i go what will become of me? eternal happiness or woe must then my portion be wakes by the trumpet's sound i from my grave shall rise and see the judge with glory crowned and see the flaming skies
