Blue Eyes in a Sea of Brown (Kellic)

28.) Shower Thoughts

Kellin's POV
I pulled the hair dye out of the box and got to work. As I sat on the toilet seat waiting for the dye to do its job I was the calmest I had been in the last 24 hours. I was so glad that Mike had went and bought this for me. He honestly has no idea how much it means to me and I wouldn't be able to thank him enough.

I would go downstairs and sit with Vic and Mike but I usually like the alone time associated with me dying my hair. I rubbed my hand over the sweatpants i had on and sighed. I was ready for this day to be over with.

The closer it got to time for me to rinse the dye out the more anxious I got. And the memories from earlier became more clearer. Justin and the guy from the store. I shivered and I thought about what would have happened if Mike hadn't have shown up. I wrapped my arms around myself in a hug and rocked back and forth softly. I just shut my brain off and just waited until time for the dye to come out.

Finally I hopped up and shimmed the clothes carefully off. Normally I would just hang my head over the sink or tub but right now I felt dirty and I just really wanted to shower. I started off my rinsing out the dye of course. Then I washed my body. Once, twice, three, four, five times....maybe more?

Then I just let the hot water beat over my back as I rested my forehead against the shower wall. I never wanted to think about today again. I wanted to lock it up but that wasn't happening right now. I kept seeing old flashbacks of Justin and I fooling around on his rust colored bedsheets, him calling me his little slut and saying I was his. Then the image would morph with the guy from earlier. It would be him calling me a slut and having me spread my legs so he could have a full view of what was waiting for him. Then the background would change to the dark sidewalk from today but instead of the other guy it was Justin who was pinning me to the brick wall and calling me a slut.

Slut. That seemed like one of the most used words people used to describe me, well at least in my mind. I honestly wondered what made people assume such things. It seems that after I was with Justin that was the one thing people thought. It's like they could tell what I had done in the bedroom. How easily I had let Justin do whatever he wanted and how I enjoyed it. It was disgusting how I just let that guy put his hands on me. I didn't even try to fight back. It was almost as if my subconscious wanted it to happen. I enjoyed being used, well not used, I just enjoyed the attention and I couldn't figure out why.

My parents loved me. My sister. My friends. I had enough attention to last a lifetime, but maybe it was just a different kind of attention I needed.

"Kellin?" I heard from the other side of the door pulling me from my thoughts.
"Yea?"
"You okay? It been over an hour since the shower started." When Vic said that I became aware of the freezing cold droplets of water beating down on me and I began to shiver. I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I cracked the door and peeked at Vic through the crack.

He smiled at me. "You okay?"
"Y-yea." I my teeth chattered. "I'll get dressed and be out."  He nodded his head and I closed the door back. I quickly dried off and slipped my, well Vic's, clothes back on and searched around for a hairdryer. I dried my hair quickly smiling at the jet black locks and then made my way back into Vic's room where I found him sitting on the bed.

I made my way over to him and sat beside of him on the bed and fiddled with my fingers. Vic let out a small chuckle before mumbling a "Come here." And pulling me close to him and he leaned back on the bed. I immediately turned and wrapped my arms around him and held tightly. One of his hands was around my waist and the other was in my hair, detangling the hairs gently.

A question was eating at my brain as I laid there and I had to ask.
"Vic do you think I'm like disgusting?" I said buried my face in his chest afraid of the answer.
"Kellin, why would you even think that?" Vic said and pulled me up to where I was straddling his waist while he rested against the headboard.
"Well that guy he...he almost..... and all the things I did with Justin. I just thought....and I find it disgusting and I hate myself because of it and I don't want you to hate me for it." I staggered out and as I looked at Vic his eyes looked shattered.

"Kellin baby nothing that happened tonight was your fault. It was that disgusting bastard who decided to put his hands on you. It was his fault." He said sternly. "What you did with Justin was in the past and I don't care about that. All I care about is how he hurt you and if he touches you again I'll probably kill the bastard." He leaned foreword and kissed my lips lightly.

"Kellin I love you with every fiber in my being and nothing is going to hurt you ever again. I've done a pretty shitty job at being a boyfriend so far but I promise I'll make it up to you. All I want to see on your face is that gorgeous smile. I want to hear that laugh that sends shivers down my spine because it's so perfect. I just want you to be happy baby."

I stared at him in shock. "You love me still? Even after what happened tonight."
"Kellin yes. I don't think anything could change how much I love you." I smiled at him as the information sunk in. He actually loved me.
"I love you too Vic." I said and flung my arms around him. He held me tight and eventually I drifted off to sleep.