Poetry Corner

Unanswered Questions

Sitting here in the darkness
Of my life.
Wondering  where I went wrong.
My kids in the next room asleep.
My love? In a different place
Was I not good enough?
Could I just not please him?
Why did he want her instead?

As the tears fall i curl up.
Wishing he loved me like
He loves her. It hurts. So much.
I want to call him but can't bring
Myself  to. Does he know how much
It hurts? Does he care?
No of course he doesnt.
He moved on already.

Forcing myself up i check on
My babies. Sleeping sound.
I know they didn't want to go.
They beg for him. It hurts more.
My oldest asks why I left his daddy
My daughter  cries for him.
My youngest doesn't understand.

I go to my room. Pull my box out.
Grab my faithfull friend and drag it
Across my leg. Relaxing as the daily
Pain hits. Going numb I lay back.
Staring into space. Knowing i should
Eat. It's been a week. Still no apatite.

I try to sleep nothing comes.
So I lay there. Numb. And heartless
For he has it. I drift off for a bit.
Wake up to a call.
He's says I love you I'm sorry.
My heart says run back now.
My mind though says.

If he loved you he'd never wanted her.
Did she not want him?
Did she leave? Is this why he's calling?
Does he mean it? Should I go back?
Is it just for the kids?

Unsure of everything I say
I love you and hang up.
I slash at my leg endlessly
Till the urge to cry is gone.
I text him telling  him I'll bring the
Kids by tomorrow. Then we can talk
Once they nap.

We get there my oldest and daughter
Run to their dad. Attacking him
All three crying. Happy to see
One another. He sets them down and
Comes to me and hugs me n our
Youngest. Kisses my forehead
Pulling me to him. Both  by kiss and
His embrace.

We go in and he plays with the kids
A movie put on. Cuddles for daddy
From all three. So happy. So peaceful.
Perfect father and children moment.
The kids pass out.

Time comes all I do is cry.
Whyd you do this? He can't say.
Do you really love me? Yes.
Can you prove it?
That's the question that remains.

He kisses me pulling at my soul like
He always does with a kiss.
Unable to resist I melt into his arms
Crying and scared. Will it happen again?
Any resolve to run gone with the kiss.

Leads me to the room.
We lay down n cuddle him.
Soon sleep takes me.
Dreams  of him leaving hit.
He wakes me worried. Saying
I'm fine I drift off again.

Does he love me?
Does he truly want me?
Will we last?
Will he do it again?
So many unanswered questions.

The pain still there. I push my leg
The pain numbs  me. Does he notice?
Does he care I still hurt?
Unanswered questions.