Blurbs // 5sos ◊✎

24 Floors // (CTH/LRH)

you'd checked into a hotel in the city a few blocks from where you lived, the only thing on your brain how miserable you've been since he left you with nothing. the whole elevator ride up you thought about how much you wished your last conversation hadn't been a fight, how you wish that you had said i love you just a little bit more, and maybe he wouldn't have left. you couldn't get it out of your head, did he not think our loved him anymore? could you have kept him around, you regret ever letting him go and now that it's been months, there's absolutely nothing you can do.

you threw the notebook you had with you onto the bed after you turned the tv on and opened up the balcony, taking in the scene of the city that never sleeps, lights all over the place, cars buzzing around below you.

you could hear the tv behind you as you mindlessly pulled out your phone, dialing the number you knew oh so well, hoping that this was a sick twisted dream and that maybe, just maybe he'd pick up tonight.

you didn't let the mechanical voice on the other line begin before you did tonight. because you were here to say goodbye, he wasn't coming back to you and tonight you were going to accept it.

"Calum? it's me again, just like every other night, day, hour, all the time. i'm 24 floors up in the hyatt down the street from the flat where you left me with all your shit. it haunts me calum, and god fucking damnit i'm sick of it."

you paused when you started to feel the tears streaking down your face, you took a deep breath and hesitated before your next words.

"i'm thinking about my family tonight, they'd be so god damn disappointed in me if they knew i was here, if they knew that i was thinking about jumping off this damn balcony-"

your next words were cut off by a breath, you didn't even know someone was on the other end.

but you didn't let them speak. "no calum, you don't get to speak, not when i have more to say. i'm thinking of you and your stupid dimple when you smile, and your stupid curls that fan over your forehead when yo wake up in the morning. and i'm just wishing you were here. i can hear you so vividly in my head"

you can hear movement on the other end, keys being grabbed. and that's when it hits you, he's coming to get you, but you couldn't care less at this point, so you continued anyways.

"if you were standing here you'd tell me, you'd tell me that i don't wanna die tonight, you'd tell me to breath, take a few more breaths and really think it through. because you know what it's like."

you'd spend the next 15 minutes talking into the receiver, listening to the sounds on the other end as he traveled, you'd heard him asking a woman about a room, swearing that he wasn't here.

"because you know what it's like to take your own life. tomorrow doesn't come for everyone, and it stops for everyone else when the person they love doesn't have anymore tomorrows."

you've closed the balcony doors behind you at this point, the muffled noise of the TV and a door slam being drowned out by the cars below you.

your grip on the railing tightens as you look over it. "you'd tell me how much you don't want me to do this."

and it only hits you when you feel a pair of arms wrap around your torso and pull you close to them.

and suddenly it all clicks, you turn to see the piercing blue eyes boring into your own and the faint tear streaks falling down his face. And then you're crying.

"Bloody hell y/n never do that to me ever again, shit" and he buries your head against his chest, pulling you closer and breathing you in. "I hope to God that this isn't something that happens often, you call him? listen to me, he's not going to answer you."

He let his fingers catch the tears under your eyes as you bit on your bottom lip to stop it from trembling. "i know"

"so why do you do this to yourself? this isn't good for you, i know it hurts, trust me i know it does, but he's gone and you can't do this to yourself. and you can't take your life too. I won't allow it okay? it wasn't your fault please don't do this, it hurts us too."

and at this point he's a sobbing mess just as much as you are but you can't help the million 'thank you's that tumble out of your mouth because deep down you know it. you know this isn't what you wanted, and you know it isn't what he wanted but it just hurts so bad.

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update this came to me a few weeks ago but i couldn't find the right words to write it anyways i didn't proof read it and i'm not sorry bye