My Love Story

Chapter fourteen: falling from cloud nine and crashing into reality

It was the start of another school year. Kris and I have been together for nine months now. We’ve been through a lot of fights and break-ups but we managed to fix them. We were the talk of the school; we were the most popular couple. Girls would envy me because I have the best boyfriend I mean husband in the whole world. Okay I’m exaggerating hahahahaha. But girls really did envy me. Kris has this kind of charm that women could not resist. He was a Casanova, an athlete, honour student, handsome, and courteous. He wasn’t afraid to show his affection towards me. He was perfect. I couldn’t find a fault in him, or so I thought…

We were sitting on bench, Sungmin and Heechul were on either side while Kris and I were in the middle. Kris and I were tickling each other when Sungmin suddenly said

“if looks could kill, I bet you’re already dead by now”

“huh?” I looked around

“look over there” Heechul motioned me to look at my right

I saw girl who was a year level younger than us. She was glaring at me while Kris wrapped his arms around me.

“if her stares were daggers, your back must really hurt right now” Heechul said while laughing

“she can’t have Kris. Kris is mine” I said and hugged Kris.

“I’m all hers” Kris said and kissed me

Three weeks pass. Kris and I suddenly grew distant from each other. He wouldn’t spend so much time with me. He would always be with his friends. I was playing around with Fei when Kris suddenly followed me around. I ignored him and continued playing hide and seek with my friends. When I turned around he cornered me by hugging me

“why are you ignoring me?” Kris asked me

“I’m not ignoring you. I’m busy playing” I held onto his neck

“I’m going to play star craft with friends. You should go home”

“okay” I said as I released my hold on him. He kissed me on the lips.

“take care” he smiles

“you too”

We became distant to each other once again when we entered training for Cadet Officer Candidate Course for the school’s Citizenship Advancement Training. The rule was a COCC could not date or be involved in a relationship with another COCC. That rule placed a big boulder in our relationship. Of course, we could be an exception because we’re already married but we couldn’t tell them that. The school would kick us out. We couldn’t even hide our relationship because eyes were everywhere.  We should be seen doing Public Displays of Affection because that would cause us our military rankings. This was our dream. To be able to train and be a soldier, well, it was one of his ultimate dreams. I don’t want to ruin his dream.

Until one day, the day I wished that would never come, came.

We were left alone in the classroom. He was standing against the lockers while I was leaning against the wall

“I can’t do this anymore” Kris whispered

I immediately knew what he was talking about

“no, please. Don’t do this” I started to cry

“don’t start with the water works” his voice was rising

I couldn’t help it. I was afraid of losing him. He was the first person to make me feel wanted, accepted and loved. I felt important whenever I was with him. I couldn’t imagine a single day without him. I continued crying

“let’s break up”

I cried louder

“I’ll file an annulment tomorrow” he said coldly

My whole world just crashed. My fairy tale was over. I couldn’t breathe. He started shouting at me. I held on his polo. He swatted my hand away from him and slapped me on the face. That was my wake up call. I immediately stopped crying. It was as if I was awaken from a trance. A trance that was our relationship.

It was finally over. The relationship was over. I wasted 2 years of my life building walls around us only to realize that I built it around myself. I was so caught up with him that I even lost my identity. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was so badly shaped because of our relationship. I turned my back on my life, my friends, my family and myself… all just for him. All for the sake of not losing him. He made me believe that fairy tales existed. I was so stupid.

I snapped back to my senses when I heard the door slam shut. I was now all alone.

I cried for weeks. I wasn’t taking care of myself well. I was always sick. Sungmin and Heechul noticed that I would always space out. I was a walking zombie. Heechul introduced me to the world of hallyu just to have some life in me and it helped.

We avoided each other as much as possible. But it seemed that fate had other plans. We would move in the same social circles and be group mates. I was pure torture for me. He was happy while I was slowly dying.

2 months pass and I suddenly hear news that Kris and Fei were dating. That was huge slap on the face for me. Fei was my best friend. She helped me every time Kris and I would have fights. I felt so betrayed that I almost committed suicide. But luckily, Heechul was there for me to pick me up.

I have never felt so broken in my whole life.