Tomatt - ♡ Beautiful Boy ♡

deur, izua

hey guys! let me know how you guys are doing. i'm back for a bit :)
the title is, "water, panic".
TW: abusive relationship/domestic abuse, alcohol abuse, self-harm, drowning
hope you enjoy! c: (IM SO SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG. HAVE AN EXTRA LONG CHAPTER FOR REDEMPTION.)
// THIS CHAPTER THERE MIGHT BE AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP :D

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"We're here!" Matt said, cheerfully. Tom looked up from his phone and looked around. He blinked a couple of times to make sure he saw what he thought he saw. It was exactly what he thought he saw. He shook his head and looked at the ginger. "Matt, why are we at an old playground?" He was very confused. This was his highschool playground. Before he even met Matt. The place where he came to slice his arms open and drowned his sorrows in old stolen rum. The place where he learned to enjoy the burning in his arms, and then his throat. "We're here to relax. I know this place. You know this place. We're here to enjoy ourselves. Something you could never do in highschool." Tom shook his head. "I can't do this. I can't be here." His breathing started to hitch and quicken. Matt took Tom's hand and turned Tom's face with his free hand to look at him. "It will be okay. I promise. I'm here, and I am never going to leave you." (Foreshadowing maybe ?? ;))) Tom didn't want to get out of the car. His ribs hurt and he felt like he was going to throw up. A tear streaked down his face as he shook his head, moving Matt's hand back and forth with it. "Matt, please.." Tom choked down a sob. His throat burned, just like it always had here. This time, only, for different reasons. Matt's eyebrows creased as his chest ached to see his brunette friend in such a way. "We don't have to get out of the car, yet. We can sit out here and relax, get more comfortable in this area. Okay?" Matt didn't want to leave Tom with bad experiences here. He wanted to replace those memories. Or maybe not replace them. He just wanted this place to at least just be a place; not a cursed memory. Tom nodded his head and scooted, or practically melted, further back into the seat. He brought his knees to his chest and took deep breaths. Matt ran his hand through Tom's brown hair. He slipped his hand down to Tom's face and lightly touched the anxiety-riddled boy's face. Tom relaxed more at the ginger's touch. Matt's face covered in a look of pure love. Not the "eh I'm in a relationship and I love this person, but I like them because of their body and the sex they provide" look. The "fuck, I adore this person and I would absolutely stop the world for them" look. His eyebrows were creased and a small smile was plastered onto his face. Tom shut his eyes and took a few more deep breaths. He shuddered and relaxed more into the seat. Tom opened his eyes and blinked a few times, shaking his head. He wasn't ready, but he had to prepare himself. Tom looked over at Matt and his face turned pure crimson. "Matt- why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?" Tom stroked a hand across his face, as to wipe something away. "No, no no no- there's nothing on your face. Just-- god, I love you." Tom's eyes widened as his eyebrows creased. "Even through all the shit I've put you through?" Matt raised his eyebrows and dramatically put a hand on his chest, sticking his elbow out far. "Of course! Love doesn't go away just because someone makes a mistake or falls apart. It happens, and I've already completely made the decision to one-hundred-percent stick with you through this, no matter what. Because I love you, I have for the longest time, and I'm finally doing something about it. I'm finally letting you know that I care. And I know you need that. So I'm here, forever and always. Even if it's not relation-ship wise. I'm here. And I care." Tom had teared up again. Fuck, he was such a crybaby. He wiped away his tears. "I love you, too. I guess I never really noticed how much you cared or the way you looked at me because I was too caught up with the abuse. Then.. The depression." Tom looked down at his knees, since they were in the seat and he couldn't see much past them. "Which is okay!" Matt reassured the brunette. "Depression is hard! It's hard to get out of, and once you're in that hole, it seems like miles away to get to even see the light again. Or to even think about seeing the light again. I get it, I do. And I'm here to help, and I'm here to wait. As long as it takes to get you even one step farther."