Tomatt - ♡ Beautiful Boy ♡

the flat's a mess

TW: mentions of abusive relationships, yelling, PTSD, anxiety/panic attacks, mentions of domestic abuse, mentions/thoughts of suicide, and just about everything in-between.
sorry.
possibly last update. i don't remember if i said i would finish this story but i didn't even have a plan from the start so,, whatever ig. i started this chapter so long ago, i suppose y'all deserve at least this one.

•—————————————————————————————————————•

Tom and Matt pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building, laughing and smiling. Their hands were intertwined as Matt ran his thumb over Tom's knuckles. "Do you know anyone with a red car?" Tom looked up from his phone at the small vehicle beside them. "No, I don't think so. Maybe the neighbors got a new car." He looked over at Matt. Matt shrugged. "Didn't think Eduardo would be into red." Tom curled his brows and shrugged back. "Was probably Mark's buy. He makes the most money anyways." Matt turned off the car and they climbed out, but reconnected and practically pulled each other up the stairs up to the flat, making jokes and almost falling over multiple times.

Tord held the cup of straight black coffee close to him. He was shaking, but tried his best to console his anxiety as him and Edd chatted. Tord had walked into the flat with good intentions, but almost broke down as soon as he saw the pictures of memories hung on the walls. They didn't remove him. Probably Edd's request. "Hello, old friend." His voice nearly cracked, but he cleared his throat as Edd whipped around to look at him over the couch. "Tord!" Edd quickly set his coffee and pencil down and rushed over to the taller man. Edd almost hugged him, but restrained himself and rubbed his arms, cursing at himself in his head. "Why--what are you doing here?" Edd sat him down in the living room and got him a cup of the dark black beacon of energy and conversation. (Coffee is powerful shit man, it can do a bunch of things. Never forget that.) Tord explained everything, but not without apologizing immensely every other sentence. Tord teared up multiple times, but kept talking. He didn't want to break down. He wanted to stay as calm as possible. He knew about Edd's anxiety, and took all of the precautions he could to keep Edd okay. Tord clung to his cup as Edd told him it was okay, and he could stay for a bit. "I'm proud of you." Edd softly smiled at him, and Tord melted. "Thank you so much Edd." Tord set his cup down on the table near him as he leaned over and enveloped the chubby man in his arms. "I'll try my best to make it worth your time."

Tom and Matt slid in the door, not expecting to see Edd's head poking over the couch. "Oh! Good afternoon, Edd!" Matt cheerfully greeted his cola-loving friend, but his smile dropped along with his stomach when he saw who stood up with the green-hooded man. He quickly looked over to Tom, who was frozen, eyes wide open. "Tord--" Tom choked out his abusers name. "Tom I-" Tord took a step towards his ex, creasing his brows. Tom started to shake, and his breaths got short and choppy. Matt wrapped his arm around Tom's shoulders, pulling the smaller man closer to him. Matt glared at Tord from across the room. Tord's face burned and he took another step towards the ginger and the cowering man under his arm. "I'm so sorry--" "That doesn't change anything." Matt practically growled at the Norwegian across from him. "I know." Tord stood in the middle of the room. He didn't dare move. "I want to fix this." The red-hooded man shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting with his hands. "You can't." Matt ushered Tom into his room, and started to focus on him. Tord's head dropped and his legs began to shake. "I'm so sorry--" He spoke quietly, and Edd slowly approached. "Tord I-- I'm sure they'll understand eventually. You've changed, but the things you did were terrible and scarring. Give him time to recover." Tord nodded as he wobbled his way back to the couch. Maybe coming back wasn't such a good idea.

Tom was still in shock, his eyes pried open and his fingers tangled in his hair. Matt had sat Tom down on his bed, who had now pulled his knees up to his chest and was basically choking on his own sobs. Matt gently untangled Tom's hands from his hair as he softly hummed. There wasn't much that he could say that would help Tom, so humming a nice song was the best use for his vocal chords at the time being. He lowered Tom's knees so he could breathe easier then took the brunette's hands in his own. Tom was gritting his teeth and crying, his sobs felt as if they were ripping his chest apart. He tried to focus on Matt's humming, but it didn't do much, images of that cursed red hoodie smearing around kept flashing as he remembered how much it hurt. How much everything that Tord did to him hurt. Even the fake, happy couple act hurt while they were in front of the others. "Matt- Matt--" Tom inhaled sharply as he tried to talk correctly. "Matt please hold me." The freckled boy immediately stopped humming and gladly obliged to the command, wrapping his arms around Tom, pulling him into his lap and rubbing soft circles into the brunette's back. "I'm here Tom, it's okay, you're okay. I won't let him hurt you anymore." Matt did everything in his power to console the small, shaking boy in his arms. The contact and Matt's words began to sting through Tom, who's anxiety got the best of him as he aggressively shoved himself away from the other man. So agressively that he ended up on the floor. "Y-you,, you could do the same thing to me as he did,, this is how he acted, this is how he was..." The brunette cast an accusatory pointed finger at the ginger still up on his bed. "You could easily hurt me, right here, right now. You would take advantage of my- my--" Tom broke down again, curling into a ball on his floor. Matt's face was pure panic; he was just compared to a horrible, horrible person. And he was almost mad about it. "Tom,, are you really scared that I would do that to you ?" The brunette's response was a loud sob being released from deep in his lungs. He felt as if he were being crushed by a ten ton weight, as if there were people smashing his ribs with hammers, as if every tear that rolled down his face was gasoline that ignited as soon as it hit the open air on his face. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry.." Tom's words were practically a scream, his voice ripping through the air as he tried everything he could to keep from suffocating from his own panic. Matt was in shock, his thoughts began to jumble and it was getting hard for him to think straight. The ginger slowly slid off the bed, next to the mess of a man on the floor, Matt tucked his feet under his thighs and pulled Tom over to him, ever so gently. He laid Tom's head on his lap and ran his fingers through the brunette hair. "I love you. I do. I promise I do, and I would never intentionally hurt you. And I will remind you as many times as you need me to." He began to hum to keep himself from overthinking, as Tom began to move in his lap. The smaller man was now laying on his tummy, he wrapped his arms around Matt's waist and buried his face in his shirt, where his stomach was. Sure, it was really awkward, but neither of them cared, they were too busy focusing on each other. "I love you... I love you.." Tom's words were almost a whisper, only a hint of tone crossed his words. His breathing was still choppy but he was doing everything in his power to focus on the man in front of him. The man he loved. The man that loved him. Not the one who ruined him.

Tord ran his fingers through his hair, doing his best to control his impending breakdown. "Edd.. I.. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, I promise I am.." He quickly grabbed his coffee to give his hands something to focus on, and took a long sip. "I know." That's all Edd could say, that's all he knew to say. "I know, Tord." The norwegian shook his head, "What do I do? What do I say ? I want to stop hurting him..." "He probably will never forgive you. Neither will Matt, he loves him too much for you to even get near him anytime soon. But if you're really sorry, they'll be able to tell. Give them time, give yourself time." Edd stood and pat Tord on the back as he headed into the kitchen. He threw his now empty can of cola into the trash as he passed it, and quietly walked to Tom's room. The short boy very gently knocked on the door, as not to cause a panic, and silently opened the door to peek in. He exhaled happily at the sight before him, Tom and Matt curled up together on the floor, cuddling, they were asleep. Edd silently shut the door and slinked to the refrigerator, grabbing another can of cola before going back and sitting on the couch across from the taller norwegian who was still on the verge of having a panic attack. "Hey." Edd called Tord's attention to him, Tord's head snapped up to look at Edd quickly, as if the information he was about to hear was going to make or break his entire life. "They're asleep. You look like a mess, you could use some rest too. You've got a lot of explaining to do." Tord swallowed hard, and looked down at the floor, gripping his cup of coffee as if it were his lifeline. He quickly set it down on the table and briskly walked towards the door. Edd stood after him, confused. "Where are you going?" "I don't.. I don't think I should sleep in here. This is your house. Your home. I can sleep in my car-" Edd cut the rambling boy off, "This hasn't been a home in a long time." Tord turned, choking on his own throat, shock shone in his eyes. "That's my fault.." He coughed out his words, he was very close to crying. "You're right. But you're the only one who can fix that. Here, you can sleep on the couch, I'll get you a blanket." And with that, Edd was off into the storage closet, rummaging around to find a blanket that was both clean and comfortable enough for basic use. Tord sighed, and let out a small chuckle, which threw Edd off guard. "You really are the best person I've ever met, Edd. Thank you. Thank you for everything." Tord went to sit on the couch, scooping his room temperature coffee right back up as he waited for Edd and a blanket. The green hooded man stayed quiet, but smiled softly. Things were going to be okay. It would be hard, but they would get there. And everyone would finally be together and happy again.

•—————————————————————————————————————•

this is a mess, thank you all so much for your support, you guys are so so so sweet
i'm sorry i couldn't tough it out for you all

EDIT; sorry if you got a notif for this but i feel like i should really say a bit more. this story is most likely over, and i'm sorry about that. but i am so incredibly baffled at how much support i got on this, i am speechless. thank you all so so so much for your comments, reads, favourites, really. for a while, you guys gave me the support i needed to keep living. i cannot thank you all enough for liking my story, i never could have imagined it would get this far.