"Milk.Milk.Milk" I repeated to myself as I pushed the grocery cart through the busy store. I had just left from class and this week was spring break for Jaden so I wanted to do a little grocery shopping so that she would have plenty to eat and snack on throughout the week. Walking up to the refrigerator aisle I grabbed my items from it along with the milk I needed and proceeded to the check out line. "Is that everything ma'am?" The cashier asked. I nodded and swiped Justin's card before she handed me my receipt and I loaded the car to head in the direction of home. After pulling into the driveway, I took as many bags as I could at one time and sat them in the kitchen then sat his card followed by the receipt on the counter. After my fourth trip I leaned against the wall in a effort to catch my breath. "Mama can I have chicken nuggets and French fries for dinner?" Jaden asked coming into the kitchen pushing her dolls in their toy Hummer car. "Yeah give me a minute to put all the groceries up." She nodded and I began the tedious task of putting everything away. As I grabbed the cereal boxes I grabbed a chair to stand on and put them in the correct place. Seconds later Justin walked into the kitchen and grabbed a box down to make himself a bowl of fruit loops then left the box on the counter. I sighed and reached for the chair to put it away again. Things here at home were bad enough so I wouldn't dare fix my mouth to tell him to put the box away. I didn't feel like getting cussed out today so I would just climb my little four foot self on the chair to put it up myself.
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"Jaden come get dinner!" I yelled as I sat two plates and the ketchup bottle on the kitchen table. Seconds later I heard her little feet running before I saw her wild curly hair appear in the room. "Did you wash your hands?" She nodded and sat down. I quietly said my prayers and began eating. "Can we go to th-" Jaden was cut off by the sound of the doorbell, meaning that Justin's food that he ordered was here. He's been ordering take out food and eating in his man cave just because he's mad at me. It's honestly like I'm living with a roommate. We barely talk and when he does acknowledge my presence he's dry and hateful towards me. "Daddy come eat with mommy and me please?" He looked at her as her face held those puppy eyes and pout he couldn't resist then I felt him look and me and I didn't even have the strength to look up. He sighed and came and plopped down in front of me and silently began to eat. The only thing that could be heard in the room was Jaden's talking. "Thank you ma'am." I said to Jaden as she handed me her plate to place in the dishwasher. "Go clean your room up its almost time for bed." She sighed rolling her eyes and walked away. I finished wiping down the counters and shut all the lights off downstairs. After getting Jaden to bed I walked down the hallway to my room when I heard Justin talking in his. "Yeah I wanna be with you right now too." He flirted. I leaned more into the door to listen. "What you doing later?" He was quiet for a few minutes. "You know why I'm trying to come over. What you trying to do for a nigga." "Man fuck my girl. I'm over her selfish ass anyways. I'm trying to get with you." I wiped the tears that were rolling down my face and quickly walked to my room shutting my door. Everything was falling apart. I needed to vent but I don't know who to call that wouldn't want to kill him except for my Abuela.
"Abuela Sólo quiero volver a casa. Te extraño y Sofu" I said to my Abuela. (Grandma I just want to come home. I miss you and Sofu) I was on the phone with her crying my heart out. I'm almost done with him. I'm reaching my breaking point. "Conozco la calabaza. Colgar en su el año escolar está casi terminado. Usted será graduado y usted puede venir a casa." (I know pumpkin. Hang in there the school year is almost done. You'll be graduated and you can come home.) "Estoy cansado de pelear. Cada vez que llegamos tan cerca de ser feliz algo viene y lo arruina excepto que esta vez fui yo quien lo arruinó" (I'm just tired of fighting. Every time we get so close to being happy something comes and ruins it except this time I was the one who ruined it) "¡Aryanna Marie! Nunca me dejas oírte decir que no hiciste nada más que decirle cómo te sientes es culpa de él que es demasiado estúpido, terco e inseguro que no puede guardar su orgullo para darse cuenta de lo que está perdiendo perdiendo" (Aryanna Marie! Don't you ever let me hear you say that. You did nothing but tell him how you feel. It's his fault that he's too stupid, stubborn, and insecure that he can't put away his pride to realize what he is losing instead.) After talking with her for a few more minutes we hung up and I drifted off to sleep.
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"Goodmorning." I spoke to Sean as he came into the kitchen. "Morning." He said nodding to me. "You staying for breakfast?" I asked making two plates filled with eggs, bacon, grits, sausage, and pancakes. "Yeah." I quickly made his plate and we sat at the table. Justin came into the kitchen after changing into workout clothes and squinted at Sean as if signaling something. Sean shook his head at Justin and continued shoveling food into his mouth. "I made you a plate if you decide to eat." I told Justin with my back facing him. I was done feeling victim to him. I did nothing wrong and I was going to stop treating myself and allowing myself to be treated as such. If he can't appreciate me I'm done with him.... completely. "Oh and if you need Jaden and I, we'll be out having a girls day." He remained silent and went to sit in the living room to wait for Sean. After finishing up breakfast and cleaning up after everyone, Jaden and I grab our things and headed to the car to leave for the nail shop.
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"Mama my toes are so shiny!" Jaden beamed spreading her toes so the nail tech could put her sandals on. "I know and so are mine." I smiled. We had matching gotten our toes painted the same. She picked out the toe polish and I picked out the hand polish. "Can we take a picture of our nails and toes and send to daddy please?" She asked. I immediately sighed nodding my head yes. I had our nail tech use my phone to take the photo for us. "Thanks Nick. Here's a tip." He smiled and took the hundred dollar bill and hugged me before we left the salon and got inside the car. To Future Hubby😏❤️👅💍✨: "Your daughter wanted to send you a pic of our nails and toes."
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From Justin😒🖕🏾: "Bet. Tell my baby her's cute." After reading his message I rolled my eyes. "Petty ass." I mumbled. "Your daddy said he likes your nails baby." "Yayy!!!! I'm cute!" She yelled dabbing in the back seat. I shook my head at how corny she is and drove to the nearest ice cream shop laughing to us singing along to the radio. "Mama?" Jaden asked in between smacking on her lips from her frozen treat. "Yes baby?" I said looking up from my phone. "Are you and daddy done fighting?" She asked. I almost choked on mine but was able to refrain myself from doing so. "Umm baby girl why do you think we're fighting?" I questioned. "I don't know. You don't sleep in the bed anymore and you don't hug anymore and daddy is mean to you and it makes you cry. I'm sorry daddy is mean right now but I still love you and will always be there. You're the best mommy ever."
