platonic empathy • atsukyo fanfic •

x. end: truth

YEAH it's my truth

It's my truth

I will be covered with wounds all over

But it's my fate

It's my fate

- Awake in WINGS album 방탄소년단 (BTS)

🐯🌸 TRUTH 🌸🐯

Was it hard to be able to convey things - things that could be possibly break you, break her, is it? Atsushi's mind kept on racing. Being a family has its own beauty and darkness that reside between the two. Understanding then misunderstanding. Trust then mistrust. Truth then lies.

Atsushi acknowledged his cowardice - he knew that all of us had our shares of fears clawing our necks to tell the truth. The truth that can redeem light or ascend darkness in a person. The good that we have chosen will result to good things and probably not in the idea of goodness but for the sake of that person as well. The moment Kyoka shed tears - expressing her gratitude made Atsushi realized something, that everyone of us has light in us.

We have our own versions of light and darkness it is all kept inside us and it is up to the person itself to let light or darkness consume their being. Kyoka already chosen to do good, to believe in the promise of new life and all the good things that will come in her way. Most of all, she had chosen to firmly believe to Atsushi's words and promise. It was choice that all of us are expected to do.

He let his cowardice to blind his sight to the good and wallowed into the darkness - into doubts and fears he was holding on and feeding it up. Destroying every promise of the good in himself and it was his fault to let it grow inside him. The dread of knowing that Kyoka believed unknowingly while Atsushi kept on holding to his darkness - he was the worst of the worse.

Kyoka has never been this courageous before. Tossing aside her doubts and fears, she established her wish - a family. She asked and risked everything, are they a family or not...?

The family that she had remembered was laughing one. A bright and filled with so much future - that was the family she had before. The fearless sharing of oneself without the fear of being judged, seen different and truly sharing the part of you - that is a family for her.

She knew to attain such was far-fetched dream - years to grow and reap but hope keep alive in her because Atsushi had given her hope in the first place. It will never be possible without Atsushi's presence and relentless believing in her, the fire of hope continued to set ablaze.

"Kyoka, I'm here."

Kyoka heard the words she has been waiting to hear. It was the affirmation of the promise, a promise of a bright future and leaving her past behind. His arms enveloped his waist slowly, the small back and his torso covering her fully - a reassurance that could never be replace and felt physically brought her to the past of wonderful memories of her childhood. That moment - she will forever store it in her mind and soul.

Atsushi strangely felt courage welling up in him - Kyoka has become his source and keeping her in his side, he couldn't picture his future without Kyoka in his side to find a source of strength. The fear that were holding him - it vanished and evaporated.

The truth - he had chosen to let truth be the propeller of his fate.

🐯🌸🐯🌸🐯

"Kyoka, I wanted to tell you about the nightmare I had last night."

Kyoka nodded, wanting to know the detail of his nightmares that had kept Atsushi awake last night. As Atsushi shared his doubts and his uncertainties towards Kyoka, Kyoka was somehow sad.

She was sad but at the same time feeling relieved of her. Atushi had chosen to entrust her of his doubts - an evidence of trust establishing between them.

Atsushi didn't noticed the tears spilling - how horrible he felt thinking in that way and how he subconsciously thinking of the things that Kyoka could do harm them and not to do good instead. He felt a small hand touching his, as he lifted his burrowed head, he saw a smiling but teary-eyed Kyoka. The surpressed frustration - it just spilled there and there.

He wailed like a child - sobbing loudly, the house filled with his frustration became more humane .

🐯🌸🐯🌸🐯

Atsushi and Kyoka sat side by side, while Kyoka was holding down Atsushi's hand. Silent descended upon them - it was always been this way for them. Silence comforted them.

"Kyoka," Atsushi broke down the silence between them after minutes of silence. Kyoka, looking intently in their hands looked up to Atsushi's side.

Atsushi let his free hand touched Kyoka's cheeks, lingering while looking directly at her eyes. He let his eyes looked into Kyoka's eyes - it was sad and relieved.

"I'm sorry, Kyoka, I-I," Atsushi couldn't find his voice - despite saying the details and conveyed - it will remain as a scar for them. But Kyoka cutted him off by hugging Atsushi - which startled Atsushi the most. He was uncertain whether to return the favor or not, he let his arms stay in the air for awhile.

"You are forgiven, there is no need for you to say that. Remember we are a family, I forgive you of your faults, I understand your doubts. I can see myself doubting you myself. Atsushi, don't be so hard to yourself," she said in a whisper still hugging Atsushi tightly.

"I am here you know," she added which made Atsushi chuckled a little and return the favor at last.

🐯🌸🐯🌸🐯

When one learns to let truth reveal itself - one may be covered in scars but that scar is the evidence of one's bravery. That truth will result to an empathy which all of us hopes for humankind to be able to attain.

.fin