I'm sad. Please help me. (A Joshler online/texting fic) ✔️

20: Is this real?

Shorter than I was planning on but a new chapter will be up very soon 'cause I wanted to do a time skip halfway this chapter but decided to cut it short and do that in chapter 21. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy chapter 20!

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The next morning, Tyler heard a knock on the door when he was splashing some water in his face. He turned off the tap, dried off his face and walked back to his room. "Yeah?" He asked as he sat down on his bed and grabbed the photo frame from the night stand again.

Monica opened the door and walked in.

"I have something for you", she said. Tyler frowned as he looked up.

She handed him an envelope.

"To: My dear love Tyler
From: Your boyfriend Josh."

Tyler looked up at her with big eyes. "Is this from Josh? Is this real?" He asked. She nodded.

Tyler looked down at it for a second, before ripping the envelope open. He quickly got the letter out and tears started to form in his eyes.

"Shall I leave you alone for a moment?" Monica asked. Tyler shook his head. "You don't have to", he told her as he crossed his legs on the bed and he started to read the letter.

"Dear love,

I miss you. And I love you so, so much. I heard that you're having a hard time and I wish I could be with you, and that's gonna happen very soon.

I know it's hard. For me it's hard too without you here. But you gotta keep on, love. You gotta push through. I know you can do that. I know you're strong. You're the strongest person I've ever met in my life, remember? I know you can do it.

And I'm counting down the days until I see you again. And I sent you a good morning and good night text every night. And even though you can't see it, please know that I do. And please know that I love you, so much, and I think of you every second of every day. If you get through this, love, we can be together again and we never have to get separated ever again, okay? That's a promise. I love you and I will stay with you forever.

I am proud of you. I love you. I will be with you very very soon. I'll be counting down the days and I will be there on Saturday. I promise.

I love you so much, Tyler. I hope you'll be my boyfriend forever. I'll wait for you forever. Ill be here for you forever. I'll tell you good morning and good night every day. I'll tell you how much I love you every day. I am proud of you.

Stay strong, baby.

I believe in you.

I love you.

All the love and kisses and cuddles and reassuring words,

Your boyfriend Josh."

Tyler let out a sob as he folded the letter and pressed it to his chest.

"H-he loves me", Tyler sobbed. "He really loves me", he cried and Monica sat down next to him. Tyler leaned over to rest his head on her shoulder and she hugged him closer, just like Tyler had hoped she would.

"Here, read this", Tyler sniffled as he opened the letter and showed it to her as he read it himself again as well.

"Josh really sounds like the sweetest boyfriend", she told Tyler. Tyler nodded. "He is, he really is", he sniffled. "I love him so much", he sobbed.

"I know you love him, sweetie. I know", she said. "Does this make you feel a little better?" she asked. Tyler nodded. "A little", he sniffled.

Monica left and Tyler got ready for breakfast. He had Josh's letter folded up in his jeans pocket as he went to the main hall and had breakfast on his own. Then he had his first session of the day.

He sat in the circle with a bunch of other people from different ages, and the man who lead the session.

They started with a random person in the circle and Tyler was nervously wiggling his leg, nervous to talk.

Then it was his turn.

He pulled Josh's letter out of his pocket with trembling hands and folded it open, reading the text on the envelope.

"To: My dear love Tyler
From: Your boyfriend Josh."

"I-I'm Tyler", Tyler stuttered. "I-I'm uhm... I-I'm sixteen y-years old and I-I... I'm addicted t-to cocaine", he muttered.

"I..." He trailed, tears welling up in his eyes as he stared at the envelope in his hand, rubbing his thumb along the names.

"I..." He tried again. A tear fell down onto the envelope and he quickly dried it off. "I-I... I-I can't do t-this", he stuttered as he stood up, pushing his chair over accidentally and running out of the room.

He ran through the hallways to where you can enter and exit the building. Of course Tyler couldn't exit there, but that didn't matter.

He came to a stop in front of the big window that looked over the parking lot where he and Josh had parked their car when they arrived here the first day.

Tyler pulled the letter out of his pocket and got it out of the envelope. He unfolded it and laid it against the window in front of him, trying to wipe away the folds in the piece of paper.

He read the words again, and another time, before resting his forehead against it. "I love you Josh, I'm sorry", he whispered.

He was saying sorry because he simply couldn't bring himself to do any of the sessions without Josh's live support.

Tyler went back to his room eventually and plopped down on the bed. He sighed as he pressed the letter to his chest again.

He drifted off to sleep, only to wake up an hour later, sweating and panting.

Tyler sat up and grabbed the bottle of water on his nightstand. He chugged it down and wiped his forehead with trembling hands.

He had a feeling what was happening. He didn't admit it yet, though.

Tyler opened the door of his room and walked out. "Monica?" Tyler called out. He then felt a wave of nausea hit him and he ran to the trash can quickly, just in time before he threw up.

"Oh Tyler, sweetie", Monica came rushing to his side and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"W-what's happening?" He mumbled. She sighed deeply.

"Withdrawal symptoms, honey", she said. Tyler felt tears welling up. "Fuck", he sighed.

"How long is that gonna last?" He asked with a shaky voice. "It can last up to 4-6 weeks", she said as she pressed soothing circles in his lower back with her hand.

"S-so it's gonna be here when Josh is here?" He asked with a frown. "It might, yeah", she told him softly.

"No", he whispered. "No Joshie can't see me like this", he stuttered as tears started to roll down his cheeks once again. He didn't think he'd ever cried as much as he did ever since he was here.

"I could call your family to tell them Josh can't come on Saturday, but I don't think that's a good idea at all, dear", she said.

"Why not?" Tyler sobbed as he let himself slump against here with a tear stained face. She softly ran her fingers through his hair.

"Because you miss him so much, sweetie", she said. "And you need him to hold you again. Even if you're going through withdrawals. That doesn't matter to him, I'm sure of it. He knows what to expect from this process", she said. Tyler didn't say anything for a while. He only cried.

"I love him", he sighed.

"I know, sweetie. Just a few more days", she said.

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See you in a bit in the next chapter! 💕