I'm sad. Please help me. (A Joshler online/texting fic) ✔️

26: Just one more step

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Tyler sighed as he walked to the table on the second family day, one week after he'd seen his parents and Zack for the last time.

And Josh.

He grabbed one of the five chairs and put it down at another table. He then rearranged the four chairs and name cards, before picking up Josh's and folding it. He then walked to his bedroom.

Tyler had gotten a little angry when he saw Josh's name on the name card and asked Monica why it was there. Monica said that Josh was still on the list and he'd automatically get a seat, but she didn't know if he was coming or not.

When he got to his bedroom, he put the name sign down on his nightstand next to one of the pictures of Josh and him.

Joshua Dun

That's what the name card said.

Tyler went back to the main hall and sat down in his chair. He put his elbows on the table and rested his head on his hands.

He thought of the night he'd sneaked out.

After snorting the coke, he found himself crying before getting happy, and then he found himself starting to feel very bad.

He'd found himself on the side of a bridge, feet over the edge.

And he was ready, God, he was so ready to finally jump.

But there was Josh, still in his mind, and not planning to leave it.

And Tyler wanted to jump.

Jump. Just jump, god dammit. Just fucking jump already, there's nothing more you want in life than to fucking end it. Jump off the fucking edge and finally end your live. That's what you've always wanted! End it! C'mon, jump! Just fucking jump!

And he did. He did jump.

But he jumped up and down out of frustration that he couldn't jump off of it because fuck you, Josh. You're keeping me alive when I don't want to stay was what Tyler yelled out as loudly as he could.

And after a while he found himself returning to the rehab center and successfully sneak back inside, to his room, where he was reminded of more Josh because of the pictures in the room.

He waited for his family to come, hoping that they'd come soon.

He hummed along to a song that always broke his heart.

"My hands are cold, my body's numb
I'm still in shock, what have you done?
My head is pounding, my vision's blurred
Your mouth is moving, I don't hear a word
And I hurt so bad, that I search my skin
For the entry point, where love went in
And ricocheted and bounced around
And left a hole when you walked out, yeah
I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room
Can anybody help me with these exit wounds?
I don't know how much more love this heart can lose
And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds
Wounds
Where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping
Exit wounds
Where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping
Marks of battle, they still feel raw
A million pieces of me, on the floor
I'm damaged goods, for all to see
Now who would ever wanna be with me?
I've got all the baggage, drink the pills
Yeah, this is living but without the will
I'm backing out, I'm shutting down
You left a hole when you walked out, yeah
I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room
Can anybody help me with these exit wounds?
I don't know how much more love this heart can lose
And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds
Wounds
Where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping
Exit wounds
Where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping
Lose your clothes and show your scars that's who you are
Marks of battle, they still feel raw
A million pieces of me, on the floor
I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room
Can anybody help me with these exit wounds?
I don't know how much more love this heart can lose
And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds
Wounds
Where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping
Exit wounds
Where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping."