Inside Out ||Akaashi Keiji x Reader||

Chapter 11

   Today was an absolutely awful day. You woke up late for school, which would usually end up as no big deal, but you were late for your short train ride to school, leaving you to wait for the next one. So, you ended up extremely late, already 30 minutes into the beginning of class. This typically would have been fine, but the administrator was in the classroom, giving the class a stern lecture about being on time to class and the discipline actions that would be taken into effect.

To make it even worse, he called you out, bringing everybody's attention to you. You've never felt so insecure in front of a crowd of people before, you basically wanted to cower as he sternly reprimanded you, saying how fine of an example you are, in a negative way.

From there, you cowered in your seat, hating the eyes that were still plastered on you after he had left. Let's just say he had a rough morning, taking it out on the first person who he found fault in, which unfortunately was you.

From there, you failed a test you had been studying your butt off for. You felt your heart drop once you saw your grade, you had given up countless hours preparing for it, and your grade ended up a disaster. You started asking yourself questions like, were you not smart enough to pass?

With this added weight, you had a stack of American papers that needed to be attended to for the upcoming trip to an American school.

But, your awful day wasn't over yet. You don't know why, but several of the girls from class 2-6, decided to be extremely mean to you. You were enjoying your peace on the second year rooftop when they came out. They started saying things like, "You're not good enough for Akaashi-san", "You're so ugly it hurts my eyes", "Go back to America", or the worst of these was, "Your personality is so annoying. You're too pathetic for your own good."

From there, you decided to retreat inside, their incredibly mean words were sinking into your skin, although you knew they shouldn't. You felt that aching pain of not being accepted again, were you ever going to be good enough for people to like you? Your thoughts clouded the rest of your day, and you left early, about half an hour until school was going to finish.

Akaashi had no clue what was going on since you were in a different class, he just heard several girls giggling in the corner of his classroom, picking up your name once or twice.

But, once you arrived home, you realized Storm wasn't there, he must have gone out with his doggy-girlfriend again, leaving you to your downward spiral of negative thoughts alone. You changed from your clothes into a baggy pair of sweatpants and a baggy shirt, trying to hide yourself from your body every time you walked past a reflective object.You sunk into your loneliness, deciding to go through some boxes of your old pictures from America in the guest bedroom.

So you sat there, gazing at one of your favorite photos, you and your three other best friends from home, each smiling while holding up a sign that spelt out " I love you". Gosh, you missed them so much.

You sat on the floor of the guest bedroom with your back against the bed, your thoughts starting to take over every positive part of you.

In that moment, you felt so lonely. You missed your mother so much, and your heart ached for your father. You missed his teasing and endless affection. He used to hold you in his arms when you would come home everyday from the torturous bullying of the other girls in your class. Crying, you'd cling onto him, your soft sobs muffled by the material of his shirt and strong chest. But now, he wasn't there for you to hold onto.

You looked up from the photo to your mirror, seeing a reflection of yourself you wish you could erase.

Maybe you were ugly after all, you thought. Gazing at the mirror, you saw the person you tried so hard to hide, the person who was absolutely terrified of rejection. You hated that sickening feeling of not being good enough. Your insecurities of not being pretty enough, smart enough, nice enough, like-able enough, came pouring out of you.