How To Deal

i love you <3

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I felt something was wrong when I woke up the next morning. I felt cold and empty. Reaching toward the spot where Eddie had been laying last night I felt emptiness. The sorrow filled me as I rolled over and looked at the spot he laid. That was the last time I would ever lay with him like that.

Lying in bed was my thing today I didn’t even try to get up and go to school. Hearing my phone constantly going off made me finally drag myself out of the bed to look at it. I had several messages from Tyler, Cody, Scott and even one from Olivia.

From Tyler – Where are you?

From Tyler – Hello!

From Tyler – Answer the damn phone.

From Tyler – Sorry about getting mad early I guess you’re still asleep. Talk to you later.

From Scott – Hope everything is going good with you.

From Cody – Where you at? Tyler is mad as hell and taking it out on everyone else!

From Olivia – Bitch, I know you’re up to something and I’m going to figure out what it is.

I didn’t answer any of the texts instead I just turned off my phone and started walking out my bedroom door. I let my legs lead me to the spot I needed to be at the moment in my time of sorrow.

Standing outside Eddie’s bedroom door I saw a letter taped to the door. The outside of the letter read, Maddyy. Read this sometime today or even tomorrow, whenever you feel ready.

I put it into the pocket of my sweats and opened the door. Lying on his bed I hugged the pillows and took in his lingering scent. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about every memory we ever had in this room. In this bed! After laying in the bed for hours I finally got up and pretended I was ok while walking back to my bedroom to lay down in the spot he had laid last night.

It wasn’t until I heard the paper in my pocket making noises that I remembered the note that was in my pocket. I sat up on the bed and slowly pulled it out staring at it. I reread the outside and decided if I didn’t read it now then I would never be able to bring myself to read it. I opened it with a heavy heart.

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Dear Maddyy,

I just couldn’t bring myself to wake you up this morning and say another goodbye. No words could ever express how hard this is or how much I love you. Everything about you is special never forget that. I know you might be upset and depressed, but please don’t be. Understand this isn’t goodbye forever, nor is it see you later. It’s just a little vacation time, think of it as that.

We will see each other again, I promise. You’ll always be in my thoughts and I hope to stay in your memory. Don’t be scared to live you life while I’m gone either. Be happy. Be carefree. Fall in love. No matter what you do I’ll always love you and you’ll always be that girl that I consider my first love. No matter where life takes us we’ll have each others memories burned into our hearts.

Thank you for showing me life. Thank you for showing me a reason for living. Thank you for showing me faith. Most importantly thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me.

I love you forever and always,

Eddie

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I sat there rereading the note over and over again watching as my tears hit the sheet of paper smearing the words. I snapped out of it after a while and finally folded it up and put it in my memory and treasure box.