Trained To Kill

six: i get what i deserve.

when I had you, I never thought
that I would lose you the way I did.
and I lost hope
because someone once told me
that lost people are never found.

they were right.
I saw your face again and thought that I had found you,
but you’re still lost
and so am I

j.p

--

“Jacob.” I stop walking. I can’t take the secretiveness. I can’t. And I won’t any longer.

“Yes, Karmex?” He says innocently.

“Tell me.”

“Curiosity-“

I grab him by the wrists and slam him up against the wall, pinning him. My body radiates anger, and I know he can feel it. “I know curiosity killed the fucking cat. Satisfaction brought it back to life.” I growl through my teeth.

Unfortunately, Jacob doesn’t reflect the mood I want him to. Instead, he looks more along the lines of amused. “Woah there, Ms. Potty Mouth. Sounds like you’ve been hanging around me too much hm?” He smirks, and in the blink of an eye our positions change. He towers over me, his large hands wrapped around my wrists and pressing them into the wall. I can’t move, and yet he looks as though he’s not even trying to restrain me. “Be careful with that position, sweetheart. It turns me on. And trust me when I say mami doesn’t want to see papi when he’s turned on.” He says quietly in my face and released me. He continues walking as if nothing just happened.  “You know,” He suddenly sounds frustrated. “I would’ve thought that by now you would get it. I’m not going to answer any of your damn questions, Karma.” He stops mid stride and turns to face me. I stop walking as well, his sudden anger scaring me just a little. “Like, how stupid can you be? Honestly?”

I wince at his insult. I’m not stupid. “I just want-“

“I don’t give a fuck about what you want!” He yells and I jump. That dangerous vibe I got from him when I first met him returns, and it makes me feel uneasy. Very uneasy. “Just stop! How many times to I have to tell you that! God, I swear you act like you’re fucking deaf or something! Just face the fact that you. Don’t. know. Anything. You don’t know, and you’re not going to until you do. So stop annoying me like a goddamn child!”

I fight back the tears. I never expected him to blow up at me like this. Not the friendly, somehow always amused, fun and free guy I’ve some-what gotten to know. This shock mixed with the frustration of me constantly make me emotional.

“You’re gonna cry? Seriously??” He says with disgust. “Grow the hell up.” He shakes his head and continues to walk, leading me out of the hallways and back to the main rooms. When he does, I wipe my face and hold my head up high, trying to walk back to my room with at least a little bit of dignity left. He grabs my arm. “Wait, Karma, I’m.. I didn’t mean to explode back there.”

I shake him off, confused and irritated with his bipolar nature. I don’t give him a reply. Instead I turn my back to him and find my room. Imani is there, as well as Jaden. They’re both sitting on her bed, talking quietly. How these two always seem to be engaged in conversation, I don’t know. I mean, I can barely look at Jaden without seeing his sister on the ground, a bullet through her head. “Karma!  I’m happy you’re here. They take your blood too?”

I nod and rub my arm, which now has a bandage over it. I see that they both have bandages as well. “Why?”

“Imani and I are coming up with some theories as to why the fuck we’re here and why they would need our blood.”  Jaden says cooly. He has a spiral in his hand with notes sprawled all across the page.