Baby Fat

thirty-four

*RECAP: Corrie's mother returns and catches him with Devon. They argue over his sexuality, and how he "ruined" their family. Corrie informs his mother that she needs to sacrifice in order to salvage their relationship."

"I was experiencing bad withdrawal symptoms this morning," Corrie says with a slight shrug. "My hands couldn't stop shaking, I could barely eat."

"How did you handle that?" Jennifer asks, using her stylus to write something down.

"Do you print or do you write in cursive?" Corrie asks, leaving the subject of him behind. He didn't mean to get of track. Well, maybe he did.

"Corrie," Jennifer shakes her head, laughing to herself. "Every session we have, you find a way to get away from your withdrawal symptoms? Why? I'm not sure."

With a roll of his eyes, Corrie responds, "they're boring. I don't want to hear myself ramble on about things I've experience."

"Then therapy must be the worst hour and a half of you life, huh?" Jennifer laughs, "because all we do in therapy is discuss your experiences."

"It's easier that way." Corrie doesn't elaborate; Jennifer doesn't ask him to. Corrie thinks her brown hair would look better blonde.

"I heard your mother visited you," Jennifer says after a few minutes of silence. Corrie coughs, choking on the water he was drinking.

His fingers start to twitch. He feels a lump in his throat grow. "Who told you that?"

Jennifer laughs, "I'm your therapist, people have to inform me what's going on in your life. Considering that you've only opened up about your mom a few times, I'm guessing she's had a huge impact on your life."

Corrie doesn't deny it; he doesn't confirm it either. "I don't know what to talk about now."

"Tell me about her, your mom."

"What is there to even say about her. I barely know the woman." Corrie feels sweat start to gather on the back of his neck. He's a disgrace, lying to the one person who isn't supposed to judge him.

Jennifer shakes her head, "Corrie, you're lying to me."

Corrie's hands clench together in his lap. He squeezes his eyes shut, praying that he can keep his shit together.

"I'm sorry," he breaks. "I can't."

"Alright," Jennifer nods, letting Corrie breath. "We can talk about someone else, something else. Anything in mind? Bradley, perhaps?"

Corrie rolls his eyes, "don't want to talk about him either."

"Devon?"

"Nope."

"Your father?"

"Let's not go there again." Corrie looks at his palms, observing the way his fingers tremble when they're fully outstretched. He shakes his head, and his eyes snap back up to find Jennifer's.

"Then what do you want to talk about, Corrie?" Jennifer's voice is calm, cool, and collected. The only reason Corrie enjoys his ninety minutes with her is because it seems as though he can't do anything to piss her off.

"Do I make you mad?" Corrie crosses his arms over his chest, hoping that the trembling will be less noticeable to both him and Jennifer. "Because I piss just about everybody in my life off, so like, I have to make you more than fucking frustrated, right?"

Jennifer tilts her head in thought, her hair whooshing to the right side of her head. "I'm not authorized to answer that question, Corrie. We've already gone over that."