Baby Fat

forty-six

"Fuck you." Leo snarls as he takes a seat. "This is one big. Fucking. Fuck. You."

Bradley's shoulders slouch. They're in the diner he left Leo what feels like ages ago. The place is the same. It's got the same empty tables and the same home-y atmosphere. Yet it's suffocating with tension. "I have no apology to give you."

Leo just shakes his head. "I don't want an apology. I want a fucking explanation."

Deja vu from his visit with Corrie hits Bradley in a hard wave. He shudders. "I don't have one."

"Bullshit. Nobody picks up and leaves without a reason. Trust me." Leo rolls his eyes, hands intertwined on top of the table. The waitress that used to take their orders hasn't walked by yet. It's just the two of them now.

"You have experience with that?" Bradley raises his eyebrows playfully, hoping to lighten the mood.

Leo's stoic face doesn't change from a frown. "Maybe if you had stuck around you would know." Leo doesn't bother to say anymore to Bradley as he texts on his phone.

"You know, you're not the only one here that felt like shit by what happened. I felt fucking terrible staying and I felt bad leaving. Either way it was shit. I did what I needed to do," Bradley's voice comes out more whiny than he wants, "So either get on fucking board or leave."

It takes Leo a moment to react. His poker face doesn't falter. Just as Bradley thinks he got through, Leo stands up out of his seat and heads for the door. Bradley's mouth falls open in shock.

Leo strides out the door without a word. For a few seconds, the hopeful part of Bradley believes Leo's going to turn around laughing. It's just a joke, right? Those seconds pass by and Leo's made it to the point of no return.

Bradley concludes, Leo's not going to turn around. There's a jab in his heart when Bradley finally takes in the fact that he's fucked up big time.

With wobbly legs, Bradley takes a stand and makes the short journey to the door. Through the glass, he see's the car he got Leo and the boy with the recently redyed grey hair sitting on the hood...smoking.

Rushing towards him, Bradley snatches the cigarette from Leo's hand, drops it on the ground, and steps on it, making sure to rub the sole of his shoe into it many, many times. "You fucking dumbass!"

Leo flinches as Bradley slaps him on the back of the head. "What the fuck?"

"I don't know what the hell you're thinking, you fucking asshole. We've talked about smoking, drinking, all the shit that kills. I already have one important person in my life dying of it, I don't need another." Bradley shakes his head.

Scoffing, Leo pulls his pack of Marlboro. He takes one out, tosses the package on the hood of his car, and lights the one in his hand up. He takes a hit of it and breathes the smoke out in a very controlled, slow way. "You act like that was my first one. You didn't know me before I moved here, Bradley. Old habits die hard, don't they?"

Bradley sits next to Leo on the hood, sighing. "I felt the same way, you know. It wasn't that I didn't."

Leo chuckles darkly, shaking his head with a smile. With the cigarette between two fingers, he says, "You should've told me that before you left me. You fucking abandoned me. I needed you. I thought--I thought you didn't feel that way about me. I thought I fucked it all up. I come to school the next day and you're not there. You're not anywhere."

"You should've called. You should've texted! You didn't even try. Don't act like there weren't plenty of opportunities for you to contact me!" Bradley narrows his eyes at Leo, feeling an overwhelming urge to hit Leo in the face.

"At first I thought you wanted your space, so I gave it to you. And then I got concerned so I did. I texted. I called. You didn't respond. What was I supposed to do? I asked what happened to the teachers, they said it was a private matter. Hell, I even went to see your goddamn dad at your house. He said if it concerned me I would know. So, I gave up. I moved on with life."

Stunned, Bradley's only response is, "o-oh. I-I didn't know."

"Yeah, you didn't. So don't act like I didn't give a fuck. I gave plenty. You were the one who didn't give a fuck. Me, Hannah, Devon. Even fucking Corrie? Like, c'mon Bradley. Corrie! You had so much respect for him, for all of us. Yet a simple, 'I'm alive. Don't worry' text was too hard for you?" Leo shakes his head. He takes his final puff before dropping his cigarette and stomping on it.

Perhaps it was the fact that when Bradley left, he didn't feel like he was alive. Alive, as in breathing, yet. Yet living, no. Perhaps this is why he couldn't give anyone any confirmation that he was alive because he didn't feel like it.

None of that was said to Leo. Instead, there was a moment of silence on both ends.

"I wouldn't have been able to do anymore for you if I stayed. You said you needed me? I wouldn't have been able to help you, comfort you. One fucked up person can't rely on an even more fucked up person to save them. Life doesn't work that way." Bradley shrugs his shoulders. He stares down at the parking lot.

"I wasn't asking for saving. I never have. I don't need saving. Sure, I'm fucked up. My life has always been fucked up. But, never, ever have I asked anyone to save me. You know why?

Because saving isn't about romance. It isn't about the person you love coming in a swooping you away from the demons that haunt you. Don't let those romance novels fool you. Saving is about putting in work. It's giving it your all even when you're scared of the outcome. It's about you. It's not that person you love kissing your injuries.

It's you wanting it. It's you wanting to get better. Your own saving grace is simply...yourself."

Bradley knows that it wasn't directed towards him. He knows it's Leo's rambling is the same thing it always is: just rambling. Yet, Bradley takes it to heart.

"If we could start over--"

Leo cuts him off, smirking. "Hi, I'm Leo. It's nice to meet you. Please excuse my poorly dyed hair, my sister did it. What's your name?'

Bradley grins at him. Holding out his hand, Bradley replies, "My names Bradley. I didn't want to say anything about your hair, considering this is our first time meeting and all, but I know some people who can fix it."

Beaming, Leo asks, "is there any possible chance you would like to accompany me to the store for some hair dye?"

Playfully scratching his head, Bradley responds with, "as long as I can pick out the color."

__________

☒ - unedited

Who's side are you on? Bradley's or everybody else'? Are you happy about BradLeo's make up? Do you think the possibility for them to be a couple later on is possible?

Please tell me if you see any mistakes, I'm the queen of typos.

I could really use some comments and votes if you guys wouldn't mind. Thank you! Predict what you think will happen!

Life update:
- joined swim team, no time to do anything but that and school
- school is rough, i'm holding on

Notes:
- follow me for updates
- dm me on here or twitter if you want to chat!
- love you

Thank you.

— dreamfloats