Baby Fat

sixty-two

"We need to talk," Julianne says to Corrie through the phone.

Corrie sighs. "I've been expecting this phone call."

"I mean what do you think, Corrie? I've literally been trying to go on with my days as my little brother is starving himself to death," Julianne snaps. Despite her anger, Corrie hears her voice quiver.

"Julianne, I literally can't do anything! I'm sitting on the couch every day working through all of this, trying to figure out what we should do."

Everything feels so complicated, again. Things with Devon are so muddy again. Corrie should've just let Devon bring it up. He should've listened to Jennifer because of fuck. He wants to drink so bad. He wants to forget all of the shit that's happening. Everything is burning. His veins itch to be filled with coke, his throat burns with the need for the bitter taste of vodka.

"Are you even listening?"

Corrie gulps. "No," he answers Julianne's question honestly.

"What are we going to do? I'm freaking out. I don't know the first thing about confronting people about an eating disorder!"

The panic in Julianne's voice makes Corrie more nervous. "You're a ballerina for fuck's sake, Julianne. Girls there are constantly starving themselves!"

"I don't talk to them about it, Corrie," she snipes. "It's like an unspoken rule in the community. We don't discuss weight. It easily triggers people."

"Girls and boys literally die every day from anorexia and bulimia and you're telling me you guys just don't talk about it?" The thought makes Corrie sick to his stomach.

"I've tried, Corrie. I've gone to directors and teachers, but they always tell me that they'll handle it. Every time I try to talk to a girl about it, she ends up ghosting me. It's not that I don't want something to be done, it's that the girls who suffer from it don't want anything to be done."

Corrie takes his time digesting the information.

"We have to go to my parents," Julianne declares, voice shaking.

"I can tell even you don't believe that," Corrie mumbles. "My plan was not to almost die at the hands of some fucking pubescent boy, but that's what happened. And very clearly, I'm in no shape to even talk to someone about their eating disorder considering I can't even walk around the block. So, we just have to wait it out."

Julianne sighs. "I-I just...I don't want him to die, you know? And I know how fucked everything is with you, and I'm not mad at you for it. I'm frustrated and I'm scared. And I'm being worked like a fucking mule over here. I'm tired. And I'm fucking confused."

"I know" is all Corrie says. He understands because he's in the same place. They're both just stuck in this moment. Time is frozen in place. A place that he doesn't want to be.

The call drifts into a comfortable silence. Something about hearing the other person just breathe is calming. Maybe it's because it reminds them they're not alone. Or maybe they're just weird. Neither of them can bring themselves to hang up, though.

"We could call a hotline...I don't know," Corrie suggests, rubbing his temples. His head is hurting like a bitch which is fucking irritating because the pain pills are supposed to stop all pain. Ugh. Even the fucking drugs can't work right.

He hears Julianne click her tongue as she thinks. "Y-yeah. It's better than nothing. I mean, I've done all the research about confronting someone about their eating disorder but talking to people who do it, like, every day could help."

"Do you want me to call?" Corrie asks, biting on his lower lip. He doesn't even want to. He can do without.

"Uhhh. I'll do it. I-I just need to hear it firsthand. I'll send you a text or something with everything they tell me, cool?"

Corrie lets out a breath of relief. He does not have the energy to speak to someone about it at all. His head hurts like a bitch and he's tired of having to think all the time. He's tired of worrying all the fucking time.

"Yeah, okay. Let's just do that. We're getting close, you know? We're going to help him, Julianne. I refuse to let it go any other way," Corrie licks his lips, realizing how dry they had gotten.

"Okay, I'll talk to you soon, 'kay? Take care of yourself, Corrie." Julianne's voice is strained, far away too. His heart hurts for the both of them.

Even if Corrie and Julianne aren't that close, he knows how she feels. They're in this together.

"You too, Julianne. I can't have you becoming a wreak on me too." Corrie chuckles a little. He almost regrets what he says until Julianne laughs too.

"Don't worry about me. You're the one who almost died on me. I can't do this alone." Her voice is airy and sweet, but Corrie can hear the worry she's attempting to hide.

"Alright, I'll see ya, bye."

"Bye."

The phone goes dead before Corrie can hang up on her. He puts his phone down on the arm of the couch, not able to do anything with it anyway. The child restrictions on it keep him from being able to download anything. His texts are monitored.

He doesn't blame his father for it. He's actually kind of thankful for his father doing that. He doesn't want to know about the rumors that have to be going around the school now that he's out of rehab.

He hasn't given it much thought to all the people from school. It's been kind of hard to, really. His mind is always elsewhere. But, now that he's home he realizes that there's a lot he's going to have to go back to. Including school.

There are so many people he knows he has mind fucked. There are people he has royally screwed over and girls whose hearts he has broken. He needs to make his amends, he desperately wants to make things right with people.

That's a part of recovery. He made his amends with his father and Devon's next on his list. Then after that, it's a never-ending line of people who need apologies.

He realizes that how he behaved then, playing with girls because he could, that would be the worst thing he's ever done. He never thought twice about hurting people because he was hurting too. He was blinded by his own pain.

But, now. Life is so much clearer.

__________

☒ - unedited

Questions of the chapter: How are Julianne and Corrie going to confront Bradley and when?

Please tell me if you see any mistakes, I'm the queen of typos.

How's life going? Sorry about missing last weeks update again.

Life update:
- school starts again in less than 3 weeks:((
- next update: tbd

Notes:
- vote if you enjoyed, comment if you have any thoughts, share if ya want. <33
- email: wattpad.dreamfloats@gmail.com
- if you need to get in contact with me for any reason, please, please write on my message board first.

Thank you.

— dreamfloats