He's my Savior, and I'm his Lover

He's my Savior, and I'm his Lover Part 1

(c) 2010 Rajan Kaur

I used to be one of those girls  

The one who would sit in the middle of a huge group of popular people at school. The one who always smiled at the silliest things a person would do. The one who'd take crazy pictures with her friends and post them up online for everyone to see. The one who had all of the guys drooling after her.  

But not anymore.  

For one summer I didn't talk to barely anyone. I kept to myself. When the new school year began, no one talked to me. It was as if I was a ghost. They would look at me weird, then whisper to the person closest to them. I hadn't really know what I'd done. Now I'm laying here in the hospital bed, as a packet of blood drips into my body, slowly, with the clock ticking away every second. What got me in here was a flash to me. I cried too much. The only guy I ever really liked, no, loved, since I was an infant, said he hated me. He left me, and he always ignored me. My family began to act so cruel to me. I cried so much I couldn't take it anymore. The closest thing next to me was a knife. I guess I wasn't thinking properly. I held it up to my wrists, and wished everyone goodbye, though they probably didn't care. Blood dripped down. It seemed like the life was draining from me. It actually made me happy. I shed a few tears, and collapsed. I next thing I knew, I was looking at a doctor right in the face. I wasn't happy. I was hoping to see my dead cat, Boots, running around me as we walked a path which led to no where.  

There was a vase of roses on the table across the room, and the TV displayed the latest episode of Bones. Little blue birds flew around outside, and the sun glistened into the room. It seemed so natural. As if the universe was a bubble of happiness, like it had nothing to worry about. It was so lucky it wasn't a suicidal seventeen year old girl named Jasmine Singer.  

I was thinking about escaping from the hospital. But as I tried to execute my plan, that doctor came in to check on me, with my parents. Ugh, I thought to myself. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep as they whispered to each other. I listened.  

"Your very lucky that she's alive. She hit her veins, but she was brought here in enough time to save her," the doctor said to my parents.  

"Oh yes, we're very happy." I could sense a bit of hate in my mother's voice. I could easily tell she wasn't happy.  

"I couldn't believe I almost lost my little girl. Thank you for saving her life, Dr. Smith," my father whispered to the doctor. He seemed to have been choking on his words.  

"I'll leave you two to her then. Oh, and after she wakes up, you can take her home." Dr. Smith walked away and my parents continued to talk to each other.  

"I can't believe she's alive. Now we have to take care of again. Dammit, why doesn't she die already?" my mother said to my father.  

"I hope she does soon. Oh just wake her up already Mackenzie, I don't want to stay here any longer."  

"Alright." I could sense my mother walking to the side of my bed. She shook me hard, then pinched my arm.  

"Ow!" I screamed.  

"Get up already." She said to me.  

"Fine," I replied. I didn't have enough energy right now to talk back to her. I struggled to get out of the bed, and when I couldn't get out fast enough, she pulled on my arm and dragged me out. I followed her and my dad as they stood in line waiting to sign the paperwork. I looked down at my arms, and saw bandages wrapped all around. Damn, I bled a lot, I thought to myself.  

We left the hospital quietly, and piled into the BMW. As my parents talked about work in the front, I sat back, looked out the window, and cried silent tears.

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