Broken Wings [Destiel]

Five

Hello humans! Yes, I didn't update yesterday and I'm sosososososososososo sorry. I had literally the worst day in existence the other day and because of that all of my inspiration was sucked out of my brain. So this is another melodramatic chapter (that is also pretty shitty)! YAY *much sarcasm*!!! Something will actually happen next chapter, I promise ;)

Also I probably won't be able to update on Tuesdays and Thursdays

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The train rumbled beneath Cas' feet, the second train he'd been on in six weeks. Dean sat next to him, and Gabe sat in the car too. Cas stared out the window, maintaining the silence in the compartment.

After a while, Gabe broke it. "So are we just going to be quiet the whole time?" Dean smiled a little, but he was tapping his fingers against his legs at an unbelievable speed.

Cas rolled his eyes and sighed at Gabe's words, distracting himself from Dean's worry. He shouldn't think about it too much. "We aren't going to be flying tomorrow. Do you even know how to fly?"

"Nope!" Came Gabe's cheerful reply.

Of course. Gabe was always unnaturally cheerful at all times. "Hey, Winchester. You alright?" Gabe directed this question towards Dean, who gave a faint reply. "What'd you say, son?" Gabe leaned in and cupped his hand around his ear, pretending to be an old man.

"I'm just tired." Dean said again, smiling weakly. He looked over at Cas, who found himself staring at Dean quizzically. He felt his head tilting a little as he looked a little closer. Dean didn't look tired. He looked nervous.

A moment later, Dean was pushing Cas away with one hand, the other rubbing his eyes. "Go away, Cas."

Cas' mind stumbled, and he felt a hurt look cross over his face. Dean was his best... friend. Just a friend. Why was he being so hostile?

As Cas thought back, he realized Dean had been distant whenever Crowley had pulled him aside to say some mysterious thing that Dean never spoke about. He had ignored Cas so many times, pushing him away whenever he got a little close accidentally.

"Is this because of what Crowley talked to you about?"

Dean froze, and Gabe shut himself up. The silence was so immediate and unexpected that Cas found himself reeling a little. "I'm... going to see if I can relieve myself somewhere." Gabe said with a look, getting up and exiting the compartment, running into the glass door in the process. Dean sat next to Cas with his hands on his face. He wasn't moving.

"Dean, what did Crowley say to you?" It was time for Cas to ask his friend. Every single time, Cas had felt him and Dean drifting away from each other. It was mostly Dean that did the drifting, though.

Cas waited. And waited. And waited. Just as he was about to say something else, Dean got up and headed towards the door.

"I'm going to see if I can find Gabe."

His voice was tense, a little higher than the usual, rough around the edges voice that embodied Dean. Without thinking, Cas shot to his feet and grabbed Dean's shoulder. "Please. I have to know."

Cas could feel Dean take a deep breath in as his shoulders rose and fell. Then he whirled around on Cas. "Cas, will you give it up? You have your secrets, I have mine. If it's confession time, why don't you tell me why you won't sleep? Why do you get that weird look in your eyes when I ask you about it? Why are you so different lately?"

This was not something Cas had expected. Had he been acting as strangely as Dean had? He didn't recall...

"That's what I thought. Now let me go." Dean angrily ripped Cas' hand off of his shoulder and stormed out.

Cas sat back down, staring, shell shocked, at the seat across from him. He had thought that would go differently. Somehow, he had assumed that Dean would just open up to him. But that was not who Dean Winchester was.

Dean Winchester was a strong kind of guy with his thoughts stuffed in an iron cage. He wasn't the sharing type, nor was he the kind of person to take things lightly. He was a loyal guy, willing to help anyone and anything as long as they gave him a reason.

Cas found himself smiling as he thought about his friend. Dean was one of the only person he felt he could tell secrets to. Cas couldn't be mad at him for long. Sure, he was hurt. But not angry.

But then Cas remembered that Dean was angry at him. Cas had messed it up again, and he might not be able to fix it this time. Maybe Dean wouldn't forgive him. But he had to. He must.

Or maybe Cas was delusional and Dean would never speak to him again.

He let his head fall backward, and he closed his eyes, letting loose a depressed sigh. Then he raked his fingers through his hair and growled in anger at himself. Why had he been so stupid? Why would he ever think Dean would actually tell him anything? Why didn't he just-

Cas' thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. It was probably Gabriel.

To his surprise, when Cas opened his eyes, Dean stood in the middle of the little compartment. His face showed no emotion, nothing at all. Cas closed his eyes again. Here it came, the moment when Dean would say he hated him.

Then Cas was wrapped in a bear hug. "I'm sorry, Cas." Dean mumbled into Cas' ear.

Cas smiled and hugged back. "It's okay."

They stayed like that for a moment, and when Dean left, Cas left empty, like he was missing something. He smiled his biggest at Dean. "Thanks." He said simply. Then there was a comfortable silence. It didn't bother Cas one bit.

Dean Winchester. Even his name was perfect.

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