I was sitting in the hotel room scrolling through Twitter, that was when I saw a photo.
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Oliver Irwin and girlfriends ex best friend seen together earlier today. Guess he moved in from Beas disappearance.
My jaw clenched and I threw my phone. He cheated?!
"Ashton!" I screamed as loud as I could. He came running into the room with a scared look on his face.
I was shaking and boiling with anger. "I'm... going to kill... Oliver!"
"Wow wow calm your shit. Why do you wanna kill my kid?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest.
"Look at this fucking bull shit dude!" I yelled.
"At what?" he asked
"I broke my fucking phone!" i growled grabbing Ashton's phone showing him what i saw previously.
"You got to be kidding me." he sighed putting his phone down.
"I'm gonna kill your kid! It's bad enough I can't find Bea!" i walked out of the room pissed off stomping my feet.
I couldn't believe this kid. I told him I would kick his ass that i would kill him i wasn't kidding with that.
He will be in the ground when I'm done with him.
/\/\/\/\
I miss her... It has been so long in my mind. I've been drinking more. I am smoking again. I swore on my dads grave to Bea I'd never pick up a cigarette again... I feel so stupid honestly.
That's my baby girl and someone took her from me. This is one reason i never wanted her to be in the music business because you never know the shit people will do just to meet you. Just in general you never know what a person will do.
It's hard to picture my life without Bea. She changed my life so much and effected me in the best way...
I had to mature quickly... I never understood that. I was always immature and i was never a good father i was 15 going on 16... By the time she was 5 i realized that this is all me, I was 20 and i needed to grow up. I needed to become a father. I couldn't be acting like a kid anymore. I needed to take care of my little girl.
Every one thought it was weird seeing me act mature acting like the father of 5 Seconds Of Summer because it was always Ashton. He always made sure we were all on time and he was like our dad i guess.
But when I hit 20... I knew it was time to grow up because i have to be a father.
The first few years of her being around the fans all thought the pregnancy and the birth was fake that Bea was fake. People thought it was an idea from Modest. It wasn't.
I was 15 and forced into it... It was the week after my birthday she did it to me.
I never planned on being a father. Crystal was pissed. I remember her coming to me telling me how she was pregnant that she wanted to get rid of 'it' my exact words to her were;
"You raped me, you fucked me over, you wanted to get publicity through me when I'm not even popular. But that child... Half of him or her is my DNA and they are a living breathing human. Your body is no longer your body it's that childs."
She wad shocked... But she agreed. What i didn't expect was right after she was born i walked to the bathroom and when i got back Crystal was gone. She left a note. I still have it.
Dear Michael,
I can't have a kid... I carried her cause that's what you wanted. But I can't keep her. I'm sorry.
I remember looking around and i saw her. I picked her up, she had blondish brown hair, as soon as she wrapped her tiny hand around my finger i fell completely in love.
The nurse ended up walking in and was worried because Crystal was gone. She smiled seeing me with Bea and sat down next to me. Her name was Belle, she asked me about names there were so many running through my name. I decided on Beatrice. Alexandria was because Alex Gaskarth he was always my hero.
Ever since then Ive been in love with my little girl... I miss her.
