Finding Arizona

Chapter Twenty

Chapter 20

New York City

The hustling and bustling of the city wasn't calming Mia's nerves as she stepped up the stairs to her mother's apartment. In a month, will mark the death of her beloved twin sister. She came in from Albany to visit her mom before she started blaming her for her absence, accuse her of only wanting her company whenever it came to Julia's death anniversary.

When her mother came to the door, she hugged her.

"Hi, Mom." She hugged her tightly.

"Mia," Her mother murmured. "Glad you came. Come in. I made roast and mashed potatoes. Your favorite."

Mia giggled as she walked in, taking off her beanie. "You know that's daddy's favorite meal. Not mine." It was a little chilly and what's so bad about it is that it's only almost August. Fall was in another two months. So it surprised her that the weather was being so bizarre.

Oh well. A lot of bizarre things have happened in her life. Her twin sister was raped and killed, so compared to that the weather situation was nothing.

Mia's mother, Denise, chuckled softly at her. For a moment she looked happy. Mia frowned at the thought. She knew it was temporary, knew her mother was a mess alone in her apartment. She'd pretend to be happy, made homemade dinners and faked smiles whenever anyone visited. She wanted to let people know she's fine, but deep down Mia knew she wasn't.

She crumbled when Julia died four years ago. She fell completely apart when her husband, Nicholas decided to leave her after their daughter's death.

Mia was sometimes torn between the two of them. She didn't like choosing.

Denise frowned at her daughter. "I thought your liked Roast?"

"I do," Mia admitted while sitting down on a couch. "But it's not my favorite."

Denise nodded, chewing on her lip and glancing around. She was trying to avoid her own daughter's eyes. She couldn't look at her without seeing Julia, the spitting image of her. They were twins for God's sake, so they look exactly alike. It was so hard seeing her without crying. She begun to wonder if letting Mia come over was the right thing to do. But her late daughter's death date was getting closer, so she had to practice facing one of her family members before meeting the rest of them. She practiced every year for three years. She will manage.

Mia touched her mother's hand. "Mom. Talk to me. Anything I can do for you?"

Bring her back, Denise thought. Impossible.

Mia sat back and sighed, her back hitting the couch cushion. "I wish I could bring her back, mom. Is that what's bothering you?"

Denise's tears came before she could fight them away. Mia rushed over and sat beside her on the other couch, patting her shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do?" Mia asked for what seemed like the millionth time, tears glistening her own emerald green eyes. "I want to help, mom. I want to be your rock because I know it's just so hard. I know sometimes I'm not enough, but..."

"Don't ever say that, Mia." Denise wiped her eyes. "You are my baby. My daughter. I love you."

"I love you too, mom, but you want closure." Mia decided. "Is that it?"

"I do. I never got a chance to see him, to talk to him, ask him why he did what he did." They never spoke his name out loud.

They've stuck to that rule all this time and will continue to do so. Mia would say it in her head almost every day though; she'd even have some nightmares about the man who brutally raped and killed her own sister. Except he wouldn't be raping her or anything, but her sister. Julia would call out and cry for her help, but Mia wasn't able to save her. Just like she wasn't when she really needed the help.