Smart Girl

03.23.17

or when it's simply too much.

we were arguing only for the fiftieth time in the past month. i gritted my teeth, but my cheek, and he had a cruel bend of his scraggly brows.

"she was basically being a bitch," he said to our friend in reference to me and a dispute we'd had the day prior.

when he looked back at me, every muscle in me was tense. i leaned toward him across the table. "don't fucking call me that."

"then stop being one," he smirked. i wanted to punch him right in the fucking gut, kick him where it hurt, shout at him to stopstopstop. anything to postpone the hormonal tears.

my breathing was controlled. i grimaced at his statement before pulling out my earbuds and plugging in to a scishow episode. i could refrain that long.

i was so damn sick of justin fucking brown.

~

after lunch, i took off, no words to any of them. i just wanted to get out of that cafeteria, get away from that damn bastard.

as soon as i arrived to my fifth period, i took off to the class brown and i shared in the afternoon—spanish—to make an ask of my teacher.

"señora," i sputtered. i could feel the tears boil in my throat. sensitive, he had called me. maybe i was. "i was wondering if justin and i can be separated in your class? there's been lots of issues between us, and it's been stressing me out."

"all friends have disagreements. that's no reason to break off."

i finally wanted to get the words off my chest. "he isn't my friend. i hate him."

"sometimes we have to work with people we dislike, wren." she was getting impatient, and i was in tears.

"he called me a bitch today."

"..."

"and we just clash so much, it stresses me out."

the bell for the next class rang. sobs tore at me stomach. i was hyperventilating. i held my fists to my stomach, tried to keep it from jerking around so much with my every attempt at a breath.

she was basically a bitch, a bitch with too many feelings, too many triggers.

click—boom.