I write to you because...

Chapter Seventeen<3

Chapter Seventeen<3

Louis had forcefully pulled the car door shut and immediately slammed his head down on the wheel, repeatedly hitting his head. Tears brimmed in his deep, pitiful blue eyes and he blindly sought out the ignition. He choked back a loud sob as he glanced down at the open glove-compartment; where two plane tickets to Paris lay mocking him. He slammed it shut before he blinked away the tears to clear his vision. The car pulled away from the curb and onto the road as Louis sobbed freely. He didn't care if anyone saw him; he was hurting, for all the wrong reasons. 

He should have been driving with his clueless boyfriend to the airport, guiding him while covering his bright, gleaming green eyes with a brilliant love-filled smile, and having raging butterflies in his tummy at the thought of the gold-band in his pocket and question he so desperately wanted to ask just hanging from his tongue. Instead he was driving, partly blind, to nowhere in particular with a lump in his throat and a stabbing at his heart. Rain pelted at his windscreen and he fumbled with the range of sticks and buttons to find the windscreen wipers, turning them on as fast as they would go.

  Selfish? Maybe he was, but it was for Harry. Better for the beautiful boy to have a broken heart but a continuous career than to have his life ruined by a selfish person like Louis. However, Louis' heart wasn't in the right place, only after a severe and heartbreaking encounter with their boss did he change his mind. His heart was with Harry, and that would never change. That is the right place. Always will be.

Louis wanted to tell Harry, but he couldn't do that to him. He couldn't break him like that. 

The ring felt like a lead weight in his pocket and it brought another wave of pain. 

Louis sniffed loudly and then sighed heavily after deciding his vision wouldn't improve, driving down an un-used, overgrown side lane. 

His eyes were red and puffy by the time he reached somewhere he could pull in and stop. Looking around he noticed that he was surrounded by thick woodland. Completely and utterly lost. With a sigh he withdrew the key and shoved it in his pocket before stumbling out of his car. He sniffed once more before sluggishly making his way to the boot. A crate of alcohol sat along side a picnic blanket which he sneered at childishly. 

Taking the backpack he began to fill it with cans and cans of the beer he brought. Once it was full he slammed the boot and began walking aimlessly through the thick undergrowth, exhausted and alone.

Hours passed and Louis was midway through the alcohol. He sat on an old bench that sat upon an old bridge just watching the overhead waterfalls compete with each other. He shifted positions only to notice something in his pocket. A cold, trembling hand dived inside and grasped the object. Louis brought it up to his face and observed the small, black velvet box. Opening it he discovered a familiar gold ring.

Harry.

Anger boiled inside him.

Harry.

Harry Styles.

The clueless, love-struck idiot who was so beautiful and perfect it physically hurt Louis.

It wasn't fair.

Louis looked down at himself with a scowl; now dirty, blue jeans, a black button down shirt and a half empty bottle of alcohol. He took another long, messy gulp before he discarded the bottle recklessly; launching it against the wall of the waterfall where it smashed.

Louis smiled faintly at the broken glass tumbling down the wall, it made him feel better knowing other things were just as easily broken, shattered.

Unfeasible.

Useless.

Weak.

Unwanted.

Pathetic.

Replaceable.

Replaceable.

That thought burned deep in his chest.

Harry couldn't, wouldn't replace him... would he?

Louis stumbled over to the velvet box and then unsteadily made his way over to the unstable railings. He stood twirling the jewelry between his fingers while thinking. Louis loved harry, unconditionally, irrationally, with all of his now battered heart. It scared him, knowing he was capable of feeling this way over one person, and that angered him further.

He was afraid.

How weak and pathetic.

He had the urge to send the gold band against the rocks and into the water, just like the bottle, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet, maybe things would lighten up...

Tears began to fall yet again but he barely registered their descent, too strung up on what he would have said, could have said. Should have said.

He knew Harry had always dreamed of being proposed to at night, in the snow, in front of the Eiffel tower.

Proposed to by Louis.  

Standing there he thought back to all those nights where they had lay with each other, on the grass outside their home, just talking and watching the overhead sky transform from blue, to pink, to orange, and gradually to black with the glistening stars.

Harry had giggled all though out the time shared and it was music to Louis' ears. He loved Harry's laugh, it was musical and true; he never faked it, he found everything hilarious. Louis smiled faintly at the memory of Harry's smile, his laugh...him. Their lips met over and over, again and again as sweet, tender kisses were shared. Louis would cup Harry's face as if he was the most delicate thing in the world, and he was, to him. He was his everything, and he loved him. They would sing to eachother, and whisper sweet nothings to eachother; tinting eachother's cheeks a different shade of pink with every word, every phrase. One stuck out to louis, and he favoured one, he loved hearing it pass Harry's plump lips, it was one of the most beautiful symphonies. 

'I love you,'

'I failed you,' he whispered in a quiet, discontented, fatigued voice, 'I'm so sorry, Harry.'

'For everything i've done, and everything I have yet to do.' 

"You don't have to be sorry, Louis." A whisper from behind him said quietly, "What's that in your hand?" 

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I couldn't wait to write this:3 Please give me some feedback? It helps so much, thank you if you do *Hands over cookie*