Hogwarts: my history

the golden one for me

i dont think you understand me yet so i will go as slow as possible. i have my moms last name. you will find out my . i barely think anyone gets me , not even my mom. my life is so crazy. anyway...........

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its Monday. today's my day to sit at the  gryffindore table.(i rotate tables)  im picking at my food. harry looks over at me. he looks worried. 

"why are you not eating?"

"what? oh im not to hungry."

he grabs my hand. im so shocked im pretty sure im blushing.

"whats bugging you?"

"why are you so worried?" 

"i dont know. but your my friend and im worried."

"you wouldn't understand."

"try me"

"can i try you later?"

"sure. but not to much later. i want it by midnight. tonight you will be in the gryffindore dorms right ?''

"right"

"so tonight"

"OK"

i leave to get my books for today's classes. potions with the slytherins, herbology with the hufflepuffs, and transfiguration with the ravenclaw. when i get to the dungeons i take my normal spot next to Draco. i start to zone out again while slightly paying attention. i accidentally smash Draco's hand instead of the beetles we're suppose to.

"ow. whats wrong with you permana?"

"what? sorry i wasn't paying attention."

he grabs my hands, just like harry did. my eyes open wide in shock.

" whats wrong permana?"

"nothing. i was just thinking."

"thinking about what?"

now im positive im blushing. i open my mouth to respond but thankfully snape comes by.

"well, well, well. look at what we have here.  malfoy and marker, you will have plenty of time for that later. get back to work."

now Draco and my faces are redder than the weaslys hair. we instantly go back to working on the potion. he whispers " talk to me on Thursday before midnight."

"OK"

we finish the potion before hermione does. so i go to help her finish. 

"so what was that with harry and then with malfoy?"

"i know you dont like him but with me please call him Draco."

"fine. but what was with it?"

" i dont really know but it was weird"

"why were you blushing?"

"what?i wasn't blushing"

"yes you were" 

"fine. i was. i like both of them. but they we're acting really weird. like they like me or something."

"well you are pretty likable.'

"thanks hermione."

"now tell me how you finished before me."

"hahaha. i had help. if you weren't so insistent on working alone, you could be done by now." 

the bell rings so i pack up my stuff and head to the green houses.  it ended up being the most normal class of the whole day. then it was transfiguration. mcgonagal put us in teams. my partner ended up being grant. grant scamander. oh boy.here we go again.

"hey"

"hey"

we toke turns on trying to transfigure the tea cup to a mouse. AGAIN, i zoned out. i accidentally hit grant and it slightly burned him.

"ow. permana, whats going on?"

"oh, im so sorry grant. i just was thinking." 

HE grabs my hands,just like Draco and harry did. my eye open wide and im blushing four sure.

"thinking about what?'

thankfully mcgonagal comes by and tells us to get back to work.

"Wednesday is your night in ravenclaw tower, right? talk to me before 10, (because of astronomy) OK"

"OK"

soon after that was a chess club meeting(surprisingly Ron's not in it). Mr. rook  is the chess club instucter. he teaches arithmency, so i will probably have him next year. he asks to play against me. since im a halfblood, and learned to play chess the muggle way i just play that way. my pieces are use to it. when i need to take a piece i just put it next to the piece i want to take, and it does just what wizarding chess pieces normally do. anyway he ask to play against me. i zoned out AGAIN.i moved my piece and he went to take it and i keep my hand there. that is till i felt a sting on my hand. i look down and a small cut has a bead of blood on it.

"permana, are you OK. did you mean to keep your hand on it?"

"oh.no i was just thinking"

he grabs my hands, heals the cut, and still holds my hands. i think whats up with these people.

"thinking about what?"

"chess'

"was that all?"

"can i tell you later?"

"how 'bout tomorrow?"

"fine"

i looked at his watch a see that its dinner time. i hurried to go to dinner. i ate quickly, then headed to the library to finish my astronomy homework from last week.

"hey permana"

it was my angel friend,hector. he talks in my head.(i first met him using a luegi board).

"hey, hector,im kind of busy. can i talk to you in my dreams if i dreams anywhere close to you?"

"sure, talk to you later"

by now it was 8:30. curfew so i head to the gryffindore common room. i sit there finishing my astronomy homework with arter.  by 9:00 she went to the dorm yawning. by 10:00 everyone but me and harry had went to bed. i went over to talk to him. 

"hey harry"

"hey permana"

"so what was it you wanted to talk about"

"what was bugging you this morning?"

"you sure you want to know?"

"positive"

" i tend to only trust my friends, but i think my friends dont want me around, that they easily forget about me. i wonder if i mean anything to anyone. i have crushes i dont think that i exist or dont like me, that bully me. and im sure i have an inheritance. what inheritance, i dont know. do you understand? or was i right?"

"i understand. the dursleys hate me. so i only have my friends. as for the inheritance, you dont get it till at the least 16. do i happen to be one of these crushes?"

"yes."

"i know you exist and dont hate you. i also have a crush on you."

i look at the time. its 11:00 o'clock

"it 11 we go to bed"

"Sure"

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Sorry its so long do not be mean part of this is true but hidden.