She Writes

Saying Goodbye

another short story type thing formatted like Little Love Story

i see him driving down the road turning to an open place to park and i can already feel my chest tighten. my heart feels frozen in place because the wave of both sadness and happiness that just hit me leaves me breathless and i almost forget i was in the middle of a sentence. i tell the group of people im with that ill only be a moment and a few of my friends give me a knowing look because they know exactly who just drove up and what's about to happen. i want to run over because then i can get to him faster but i also want to spend as much time as possible avoiding the inevitable. i settle for a brisk walk. i get to the van and see the window is rolled down, which hurts a little because i wanted him out of the car. seeing him was enough though. he looked a bit tired and once again i started overthinking. i know i should've said goodbye before i left he has so much to do why did i trouble him to do this. then he smiled which made my heart start racing and my head slow down. he tells me how pretty it is here and i agree with a grin. he asks how it's been going and i fill him in on the basics. he nods slowly, looking around with a silent, soft expression before looking up at me with a smile that looked forced. he tells me my parents say hello and so does his family. he tells me he's glad he got to see me before he left. i nod and smile, my heart starting to break because i know it's time. it's time to start moving on. i change my tone and expression to as teasing and light hearted as possible, saying there is no way he came all the way here to not give me a hug. he grins with all his teeth at this and rolls his eyes fondly, unbuckling and stepping out of the van. i don't have the chance to breathe before he embraces me with strong arms and a warm body. i freeze for a split second before wrapping my arms around him as well and letting my head rest lightly against his upper chest. he rubs my back lightly and i know his soft smile without even having to see it. he starts to pull away and it takes everything I have in me not to hold on tighter. when he says he's going to miss me tears threaten to fall because he has no idea how much more im going to miss him. he has no idea how much i love him. he moves to open the car door when i make the split second decision to grab his hand and quickly lean up and peck his cheek. he looks a bit shocked and confused and my heart breaks because i know ill never be loved by him the same way. i smile as he gets in the van and i say goodbye before the window rolls up. when the van is fully shut i let out the words i have refused to say out loud. i love you must feel really good when it's mutual. not that i would know. he turns the car on and waves through the window, driving away and taking a piece of my heart with him. it's only when the back lights of the car disappear when i turn back towards the water, letting a few glistening tears drop to the ground before walking back to my friends.