Behind the dazzling smile, silver tongue, and painted lips, was a lonely girl with an empty space where her heart used to be. So Sierra Palmer began to take tiny pieces from the hearts of the men who foolishly welcomed her into their beds. Slowly cr...
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She had needed to get her mind back in the game. The resurgence of her past into her life had set her off kilter. That was why she had deviated from her usual routine, Jonas would help her sort out her muddled thoughts.
He wasn't her Wednesday guy anymore. They had ended that four years ago but they still had a special kind of relationship. He was someone that she trusted, someone she could talk to that understood all the complicated bits of her psyche, "Hello stranger." Her stained lips perked up at the sight of the handsome man, entering the study. He was older than the usual men she chose for herself, in his early fifties now, but he took good care of himself.
"Sierra, what are you..." He looked startled to see her sitting crossed legged in the winged back chair opposite his desk, "My wife is upstairs." Jonas was a quality man, the kind that never strayed once they had the loving of a good woman. At one time he had tried to love Sierra, believed her to be a good woman. It took a couple of years for him to see that she was simply a creature of habit. There was nothing good or salvageable about her.
Sierra was satisfied to know he had moved on, found his good woman and married her, "Who do you think let me in here?" Her brow arched up. He flipped a look over his shoulder to the door nervously. She uncrossed her legs, "Honestly, Jonas you can relax. I'm not here to seduce you, especially with your wife upstairs."
He moved into the room, closing the door softly behind himself, "Well, you certainly made yourself comfortable enough."
Sierra smiled softly at his comment, "How have you been, Jo?" The last time they had talked it had been because he found out he had cancer. The diagnosis hadn't been a good one and Sierra had been the only person he'd shared the news with. That had been over the phone of course. This is the first time they had been in each other's presence since he got married two years ago.
He gave her a tired smile in return as he moved toward the chair, brushing his knuckles across her cheek affectionately as he tucked her hair behind her ear. It wasn't a sexual gesture, simply one of close confidants. Jonas pulled back, moving to stand near the window, "I'm not responding to the meds. They want to take a more aggressive action but even then the chances of success are low."
Sierra wasn't going to tell him she was sorry he was dying, that's what people said when they didn't know what to say. She doubted he wanted to hear anymore apologies or feel anyone's pity for his situation. Jonas was one of the strongest people she knew and it hurt to know his own body was killing him, making him suffer.
"Have you at least told your wife?"
She watched as his shoulders sagged before he heaved a tired sigh, moving to take a seat in the chair behind his desk, "Tara would want us to fight this. She's one of those people that never gives up, and I love her for that." He dropped himself into the leather office chair, the springs creaking, "But I know I'm going to die. I've accepted that...I want to die with as much dignity as possible not some hollowed out version of myself."
Sierra stared thoughtfully into Jonas eyes. His gaze was tired and dull now, but they were still the same eyes. The eyes that had seen something good in her when she couldn't. Even now she was certain he still saw those things about her that he believed made her worth a damn. The thought of them closing forever, never to open again caused her heart to ache in a way she hadn't felt in a long time.
Jonas gave her a weak smile, "Don't look at me like that, beautiful. I'm not dead, yet." He coughed out a laugh at his dark joke, "Anyway that's enough about me, how are you?" Sierra's problems seemed so small and petty in the grand scheme of things.
"I'm good. I just missed your handsome face." A lie. She shot him a dazzling smile, the one that had won him over years ago. She liked the way his eyes sparked with some life at the sight of it. Perhaps there was some kind of magic to it beyond what Sierra knew.
"We've had some good times together didn't we, beautiful?"
She held her smile, "Some of the best times." There was a strange finality to the direction of this conversation that made her uneasy, but she didn't turn away from it.
"I remember the day we first met. You took my breath away, something I had read about in books and seen in movies...never thought I would meet someone who would do that to me." Sierra shook her head, laughing softly. It wasn't that she didn't understand the power she had a female. She knew she was desirable, but hearing Jonas go on about it made her blush, "You sat down on the bench next to me, turned to me with that smile and asked me about the book I was reading."
"On the Road by Jack Kerouac." Sierra's smile turned bittersweet, "I remember you gave it to me, a complete stranger. Put your number in it and asked me to call you to tell you what I thought when I finished. I think I've read that book at least a hundred times."
It was uncomfortable, and yet comforting to walk down memory lane with Jonas. So much time in Sierra's life was spent running away, searching for the next stranger to warm her. She often felt that she had taken the best from people and left them with nothing in return. Jonas nodded his head, getting lost in a fit of coughing.
Sierra watched him with concern, "You've always done well by me, Jo. Even when I probably didn't deserve it." His gaze focused on her in a contemplative manner.
Jonas leaned back in his chair, slightly out of breath, "If I asked you to do something for me, consider it a dead mans request, would you do it?" His tone of voice was heavy but the expression on his face was light.
Sierra slowly crossed her legs, adjusting the hem of her skirt, "As long as it doesn't involve blood, snakes, and I can't get jail time." He chuckled at her words, the heavy tension easing between them.
"Find someone to share yourself with."
She let out a silent laugh, "I have plenty of people I share myself with."
Jonas smirked, shaking his head, "That's not what I meant, Sierra. When I am gone who will you have in your life to run to? Who will truly understand you?" His questions poked at her fragile heart, making her notice the fractures, "You deserve more than you let yourself have."
"I'm going to miss you." She whispered softly to him. Sierra wasn't sure she would be able to find someone else that she could trust like Jonas, but she would try. If only to give him some kind of peace of mind.
He gave her a calm smile, "You'll survive. You always have, Beautiful."
