Break Of Dawn

3.

I slept for most of the day, in an attempt to escape all the thoughts that bombarded my mind every minute I was awake.

It was a troubled slumber but it did me some good, I woke up feeling fresher, better.

At around 6.30 in the evening, I walked into the kitchen my throat feeling so dry and perched, swallowing was even painful.

"You look better, " Joshua sauntered in with a grin.

" Yeah, I feel better
too, "returning his smile.

I sipped my water as I watched my brother start pulling things out from the cabinets.

" What's for dinner? "I asked.

" Depends," he said
with this thoughtful look on his face.

" You telling mom tonight? "

I suddenly feel my mood on the verge of going sour,
I wanted to retort something but decided against it.

I didn't have to ask what he meant by 'tell mom'

I nod, not even looking up.

" Then I'll make mom's favorite, " he says grinning.

Good idea.

" We definitely want mom in a good mood when I drop the bombshell..."

I say with my lips pulled in a straight line.

" Eva don't be so sullen,
everything will turn out just
fine," 
but even my brother did not sound so sure himself.

I skipped up to where he was and told him that I would help, but I already knew what his answer would be,

"No way, I will not let you ruin a perfectly perfect meal,"
popping the 'p' and pushing me away.

"Whatever,"rolling my eyes.

But it was true though , I was capable of ruining an otherwise good dish.

Cooking had never really been my thing.
No matter how much I tried, I always ended up adding either excess or less of an ingredient, mostly salt, sugar and other seasonings.

Even with my dad trying to teach me how to cook,
I never really got it quite right.
Joshua on the other hand was a natural,
few more years and he would be as good as my dad, if not better.

He heated the oil and added different ingredients in turns, stirring and tossing, adding more.

Soon the air was filled with the melding of different tantalizing aromas and smells.
My stomach grumbled reminding me my last meal of the day had been breakfast  which I barely touched.
Right now I was starving,
made more so by my brother's mad genius in the kitchen.

"Mmmh" my mom said in pleasure as she spooned more of her food.
"Wow Joshua, this is good,"nodding her head,
"really good.. "

" Yeah," Tracie agreed, "daddy if you don't watch out, Joshua will be the best cook in this house".

Joshua was blushing furiously, but I totally understood him . I mean, everyone was talking about him and his cooking skills as if he wasn't there.

"Stop it already," but he might as well as being talking to rocks, since we continued anyway.

All through dinner, Joshua kept stealing glances at me. And every time my mom laughed about something my dad had said, he told me to tell her about the whole converting thing.

"Oh just look at how much Joshua is blushing...."
Tracie said, reaching out to pinch his cheeks.

" Am not blushing, " he said holding his head high and trying to pull a straight face.
He failed miserably, and ended up making a kissy face.

We all laughed, and mom almost chocked on her food.

" Oh my God... Josh... ua... stop doing that..., you look like a tilapia... "
my sister said in between bouts of laughter.

My dad let out a loud guffaw, as my mom slapped him on the back laughing.
I looked at my mom laughing and felt really bad,
that I would be the one to take away her happiness, in just a few seconds.

My brother nudged me with his shoulder, and mouthed,
"Tell her right now, she's is in a good mood"

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out . My throat felt dry, like I'd swallowed a lump of cement.

I tried again, but just couldn't get out even a single word.

He nudged me again and whispered furiously, "Just tell her already... tell her."

When I couldn't take it any more, "Joshua, stop it," closing my eyes tightly, "you are just making me nervous"

I looked up, and found dad had been looking at us the whole time.

I stood up, and Tracie helped me clear the table.
On Sundays, after dinner we always watched a movie on my dad's laptop
(my dad has the best taste when it comes to action movies),
while he and my mom talked about 'boring adult stuff ' as Tracie liked to term it.

At around 10 pm, my mom wheeled my dad away after exchanging good nights and telling us not to stay up too late.

Well into the movie, Tracie tensed where she half-sat half-lay beside me.
She looked at me and Joshua, "Do you hear that?" turning down the volume.
Then I heard it, there were voices coming from my parents' room.
And they were raising by the minute, both were yelling, shouting at each other.

"Why didn't you tell me...?"my mom yelled.

"Because I knew this was how you would react "my dad answered back.

The voices muffled for some time, and we all looked at each other.
But I knew.
I knew exactly why my parents were arguing,

The tear banks
in my eyes broke and tears came rolling down my cheeks furiously, uncontrollably.

I heard the door to their room,opening and closing with a bang.
My mom's heavy footsteps headed towards the living room where we were.

I tried wiping the tears away but it was no use, they kept flowing.

Then my mom entered the living room, her eyes searching furiously for me.
I swear I had never seen my mother so angry.

She looked like an ancient Chinese dragon, with puffs of firey smoke coming out through its nose and ears.

Her eyes were wet and red, at the corners. Meaning that she had been crying too...

The way my mom looked at me that night, haunts me even in my dreams to this day. It was the scariest expression I had ever seen worn by a human being.

She placed her slender hand on her hip, her very serious pose.
       "EVA..."
through gritted teeth.

I froze and my eyes involuntary went as wide as saucers. 

     "M.... O.... M".