i woke up really early the next morning.
4:45am.
i rubbed my eyes, and it seemed a lot earlier than what it felt like.
A lot earlier.
i turned on my phone, the brightness basically blinding me.
even though it was as low as it could go. how does that even work? like, how is it so dark yet so bright?
i tried not to confuse myself at 5am, and i put some music on quietly.
really, really quietly.
if my dad heard me awake and he woke up- you don't even want to know what would happen.
basically, my dad is a bit, alcohol aggressive.
he goes out 3 times a week, or every night if he can, and gets completely wasted.
then proceeding to drive home later that evening.
he usually gets home at around 2am at the latest. 12am at the earliest.
he complains if he has to wake up to early.
if we make one wrong move while he's tired and angry like that, he'll hit us across the face. so we've all sort of learned to just stay away from now.
he works a full time job as a constructor.
he builds house, of course. he's built quite a few. he makes the architecture, he does the engineering. so i guess you could say he's quite smart.
theoretically.
when it comes to everyday life, he's everything but smart. and it's really annoying. he makes stupid comments, he walks into walls and then starts yelling (how? i don't know), and he'll blame all his problems on mum.
my mum is a sweetheart, though. she really deserves better than him. she really deserves better than some alcoholic asshole.
but for the sake of us kids, she stays with him. she stays with this asshole for the benefit of us.
i could never ask for a better mother.
ever.
🌈
it's early
really early
like 'what the fuck, why am i awake?' kind of early.
not exaggerating.
it's 3:06am.
smh
