i walked back to school with my hand intertwined with phils.
"dan" he said.
"yes?"
"does this mean we're boyfriends now?"
"um, yeah, of course"
he nudged close to me and put his head on my shoulder.
"yay" he smiled.
fuck. i've never felt so special. i've never felt so, in love or happy.
fuck, i was genuinely happy. i wasn't faking any of it.
i was loving all of this. i was loving phil lester. the trees around me. the birds whistling. the cars driving past. the sky. the sun.
everything.
the clouds were drifting aimlessly through the open sky. they had a direction, a place in which they were going. a place in which they were aimed to be.
i wanted to go to a place. a place with phil. the boy i love.
the boy i may have only know. for a couple of weeks, but the boy who i proudly call my boyfriend. i will protect him with all needs.
i saved this boy from suicide.
if he had ever killed himself; i would die.
oh god, if he left me; i'd leave myself.
but he didn't.
he's still here. he's still healthy, and alive, and happy to be with me, im pretty sure.
but oh god, he's never ever allowed to leave. because fuck, i love him.
i love him so fucking much. he's the only thing i need in this life.
and fuck what other people think. fuck what they want. i don't care if people disagree with the act of two men being in love with each other.
it's all going to be okay. this will work out.
i'll make sure of it.
🏳️🌈
