i walked to the boys toilets to see if he had walked in there; nope. no sign of any intelligent life in there. just a few footballers.
i quickly turned and walked back out, making sure i didn't go too close to the footballers. they'll do anything to start a fight.
i looked absolutely everywhere. the classrooms, the benches, the lockers; nothing.
but there was one place i hadn't looked. the back of the school.
i rushed to the oval to make my way there. i had to jump a small fence and i tripped over, but when i did make it, i seriously couldn't believe my eyes.
"phil?"
the boy looked at me.
it couldn't be.
it can't be.
"phil!? what are you doing?" i ask.
the boy took another puff of his cigarette, my stomach clenching even tighter.
"i'm smoking. what's it to you?" he asked, slightly scowling at me.
"why? i thought"
"what'd you think, dan howell? that i was a perfect human being? that i did everything to perfection? you're wrong. even my parents tell me i'm a fuck up. just leave me alone" he leaned up against the wall and took another puff.
"i care about you, phil lester, and what i saw back in the office"
"what you saw back in the office was none of your business" he shouted.
"it wasn't right, phil! i may have only known you for just under a week, but that's something i will not tolerate" i yelled back.
"why can't you just fuck off like o asked you do? for fuck sake dan, go away. i don't want you here. i don't need you here, and i sure as hell don't want to talk to you"
i felt my stomach sink five feet below my feet.
"ok"
i left.
