Vrepit Sa

Chapter Six

 With a shaking voice, Allura brought her story to an end. Hunk was the first to stand, approaching her with open arms and a look of empathy. Without hesitation, Allura stepped close and allowed herself to be embraced. Pidge and Keith stood as well, and joined the hug, all three paladins in a sort of shock, not really knowing what to say, but providing comfort nonetheless.

Allura sniffed and broke the group embrace first, stepping back and wiping her eyes. "I do hope, that this information does not change how you view me- I was naive and younger then. Over the few years after that, not long before Altea was destroyed, is when I pushed that past away, and strengthened myself. I became the Princess that I am now, and-"

Pidge cut her off, "You're still the kick-ass Princess that we all know. Nothing changes that." She gave the Princess a gentle smile, that was returned. "Thank you all, for listening. I apologize for how I had acted earlier-"

"Oh, no way, that's totally validated." Hunk reassured her. "I almost wish Lance hadn't stopped you," he laughed.

Allura giggled, smiling easier now. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I must go see Coran."

"Go ahead, Princess," Keith nodded to her, and she left the three with their own festering thoughts.

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Lotor's voice had gotten low, nearing the end of his story, with Lance listening intently yet showing no immediate reactions to the information.

"I- After she left, I never saw her again. At the time, I didn't even care in the slightest. I had so much more, so many material objects, people I treated as objects, it wasn't until after Altea was finally, completely destroyed, we had rejoiced, and then- and then everything was taken from me almost instantly- My father was becoming power hungry, hunting for the Lions of Voltron, and I was seemingly a threat to his success." He sighed, rubbing his temples, then continued.

"For almost a thousand years I remained in his shadow, at the very bottom, unable to make anything of myself. For the longest time, it was just my thoughts I had with me.

I slowly began to realize every mistake I had made in the past, and how they all linked to me being a little puppet in my father's play, tugged whichever way he wanted, obeying every order, I felt so much unimaginable guilt." Lance noticed that Lotor's voice was shaking. He waited, not saying anything.

Lotor cleared his throat, continuing, "The one thing I kept reflecting back on, was Allura. Allura who had truly loved me, for nothing else but me and who I was, and I know at the start, I had loved her just as much. Yet, as my mind was plagued by my father's poison, I forgot all my good morals and values, I forgot how much I had treasured her. Instead, I did things behind her back, that I knew she would see as unforgiving, but it fueled me. It fed a fire inside, I saw her as a game, a- a toy, so wonderfully oblivious, thinking I was still all she could ever want in a lover and a friend.

I spent ten thousand years with this guilt, thinking that she had died in the fires of Zarkon's fleets so long ago, and that I would never be able to repair what I had broken," Lotor looked up at Lance, holding his cold stare. "When I was summoned at Zarkon's defeat, I couldn't have cared less, but went along anyways, with hopes that she was really alive, and helping Voltron to defend the universe."

Lotor finally looked away once again, "I know that I will never, not even in another ten thousand years, have Allura like I once did before. I still love her so, but not even I would ever be able to forgive myself for what I did, so I would never expect, or even be foolish enough to hope for her to forgive me either, not enough to be like we were so long ago."