After She Left (girlxgirl)

Seven

"We were all humans until race disconnected us, religion separated us, politics divided us, and wealth classified us."

-Banksy

"So.." Lilly said while we sat at the edge of the cliff watching the sunrise. 

I turned to her, tilting my head: "so..?"

I had lost track of time, but I was almost certain we had spent nearly 2 hours jumping of the edge, swimming around and just fooling around. Then we just sat down as comfortable silence overtook us until Lilly had spoken up.

She smiled, pretending to be me as she tilted her head the same way: "how long do you plan hiding?"

This made me straighten up and avoid her gaze: "as long as I can?"

"Well that sounds like a great idea," she replied sarcastically, "I thought I taught better."

The sun had nearly risen, a little part of it already blinding me, yet still hiding behind the forest that seemed to go on for forever after the lake ended. Before I realized it had already sneaked into my brain that had been very comfortably empty for the last few hours. I thought about Eden and how to get out.. no, deal with the situation that I was in but I couldn't come up with any ideas. 

I sighed: "I don't know what to do, how to do what I don't know I need to do."

Lilly laughed, shaking her head: "you did come up with that very complicated response, so I'm sure you'll manage."

I nudged her side, smiling at her smartass response. 

"Ouch!" she laughed, pretending to be hurt, "you should do MMA or something girl."

"Shut up, Lil," I rolled my eyes, still smiling.

She held a hand to her heart: "first you give me a nickname then tell me to shut up? Is this some BDSM shit?"

I couldn't help but laugh, this girl was ridiculous: "yeah, dream on."

When we stopped laughing, I could feel the mood shift back to serious as she dangled her legs over the edge, looking at them.

"I can help you if you tell me what's up," she said quietly, probably quite aware of the fact that I was quite guarder and she didn't even know my real name. 

I inhaled loudly, then exhaled, thinking about it. What did I have to lose by opening up to her? It's not like I had to tell her my name or address, it wasn't what she was asking for or offering help for. I realized this girl, that wasn't connected to the mess in any way and was actually refreshingly intelligent could be the best person to ask for advice. Yet telling her would make it more real than it was. It would mean opening the very crappy, old closet full of skeletons that was threatening to burst open by the things I'd put in there. 

But there was only one way to deal with the skeletons - I had to open up about it otherwise it would hold me back for far longer.

"Okay, let's do this," I sighed. 

"Now you made it sound like something sexual, babe," she smirked, giving me a wink. 

I smiled back, shaking my head: "so this girl I told you about earlier - she was my first love, first girlfriend, first everything. I didn't even hold myself back at once when it came to her, I was that in love, and before I could realize, she had become the person that was my everything. As in, come on, I even needed her there to fall asleep, when I woke up and at the middle of the day, I could never get enough. I thought I was protecting her from someone, something bad, I thought I was building a future for us."