Addicted

There's a heart behind these walls

Lexa's POV

Clarke seemed disappointed of what I said to her because she was turning away from me and tried to get rid off my grip. I just tightened it as response.
"What are you doing?! You can't walk on your own, don't be silly!"
"I can take it from here, thanks." She groaned, still trying loose my grip.
I got closer, until our faces were only inches apart from each other.
"You can't and you won't." I said and dragged her with me.
"Why?" She moaned annoyed. "You don't even want to be here so get lost!!"
I rolled my eyes and ignored her but only a few seconds later, she just stopped walking.
"What's now?!" I bit my lip to prevent an explosion of anger.
"Can't walk anymore." She moaned. "You can go home, really. I'll just call a friend."

I caught my breath and swallowed. How could I even end up with such a pain in the ass?
Much to her surprise, I just dragged her with me again and ignored her whining, until we arrived at her house. The walk had felt like an eternity.
"Thanks, now leave me alone." She opened the door and was about to slam it but I jutted my foot forward, stopping the door from falling in it's lock.
"What the hell do you want lexa?" She shouted.
"Are your parents at home?"
"No mum's having a night shift at work, why?" She softened a bit.
"Then I'll stay and make sure you're okay." She rolled her eyes.
"I can take it. My mum's a doctor and I know how to treat the wounds." She limped to the bathroom, opened the mirror cabinet and fished out a first-aid box.
"Let me help you."
She thought about it a few seconds and finally nodded, and sat down on the bathtub while I began cleaning her wounds with a cleaned rag dipped in alcohol.

"Sooo.. care to tell me why you got into a fight?"
"I didn't."
"What do you mean you didn't?" I frowned.
"I didn't fight." She moaned when the rag touched her wounds again, causing a sharp pain.
"She attacked me." She bit her lip and tensed when I pressed harder on her wounds to clean every bit.
"And you let her? I mean you could have defended yourself? Couldn't you?" I patched some cuts of her face. Then I turned her head around to clean her wound on the back of her head.
"Well yeah technically I could have fought back.. but I wouldn't have been better than her if I did. I believe in the goodness of people you know."
There's no goodness in people. I thought
"Do we have to call an ambulance?"
"Nope." I said, popping the p. "It's not that bad, you don't need stitches.
"How can you be so sure? Often got into fights woods?"
I gave her a little smile.
"Maybe.."

After she was fully patched and got changed into something more comfortable, we sat down on her couch with a cup of tea in our hands. Yet, my mind was asking why I was still there but with every word we spoke, the voice in my head faded, until it was gone.

A few minutes later..

"I think you're gonna turn blue in a few days." I sipped my tea.
"Oh I think I already do." She laughed and showed me her arm with a few deep blue stains on it. I sighed.
"Why did she attack you?"
She let out a sarcastic mix of sigh and giggle. "Long story."
I placed my elbow on the seat cushion and held my head.
"We've got plenty of time. I'll listen."
She rolled er eyes and punched me.
"You're annoying..." She still resisted to tell me so I put on an irresistible dog look.
"Alright, alright." She sat up.

--

The blonde crossed her legs and sipped her tea one last time before she spoke.
"Let's start with Ontari's and mine childhood."
"Ohh that's the crazy's name." Clarke nodded.
"Yeah.. so when my dad was still alive he and Ontari's father were best friends and our families were kinda connected, but our lives had always been built on competitions. It started by who painted the more beautiful pictures and continued with grades and fighting for attention. Ontari somehow, couldn't deal with my father's and mine relationship because her father would always be ashamed of her, no matter what she was doing and how hard she tried to make him proud. What she didn't know was, how bad I felt for her and that I would have loved to adopt her because my heart felt so heavy every time I heard her crying through the neighborhood."
"Wait she's living here?!" The brunette interrupted again.
"Not anymore.." Lexa nodded and was excited to hear the rest of Clarke's story. Just now, she realized how much she had missed having a real genuine talk.
"Well we grew up basically next to each other. Whilst I would get good grades in school every year, she would fail in nearly every subject. Whilst I would have the best friends on earth, she would only have one friend who was her boyfriend at the same time. It was Finn, my now-boyfriend or at least I thought he was."
Lexa's eyes grew wide as Clarke stopped.
"Well yeah.. next thing..my father died and my world shattered into pieces. I stopped talking to my family and friends. I would build up walls that were even longer and bigger than the Great Wall of china. But at some point, I just got worse. On the one hand, I started talking to people again but on the other hand, I was just an empty, broken and depressive soul that didn't crave for attention but for a love that would replace the love of a father. My friends tried so hard but they had their own problems and I understood. I started drinking and one night I went on a house party with two friends who started making out.. so obviously..I made my own friends and well..I got to know Finn who was funny and nice. We started flirting and we kinda had something, before Ontari found out and forced Finn to decide between her and me. He chose me. Ontari never forgave me and I understand now. I've ruined her life since I.." Clarke's eyes filled will tears when Lexa patted her shoulder.
"Clarke.." she whispered.
"It's my fault she became the girl she's now."
"It's not your fault Clarke. You were trying to get better and sometimes you have to make sacrifices to be a better person even if it's hurting other people. But it's not okay she's attacking you?!"
The blonde shrugged her shoulders.
"Feels right tho." She sniffed. "Do you have any hard past?"
Lexa tensed. "Ugh I've went from orphanage to orphanage. Never knew my parents." She lied.

____
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Res