PHILOPHOBIA (Book I)[Chanbaek/Baekyeol Fanfic]

OH MY GOD (NOT A CHAPTER)

GUYS I'M SERIOUSLY CRYING RIGHT NOW.

I FOUND SOME OF MY 3-4 YEARS OLD DOODLES AND IM SO SHOCKED!!!!

Okay so i don't have any friends and my internet friends seem to be ignoring me lately.. so please bare with me i feel so lonely lately. Not even going to lie. Call me an attention seeker if you want but i'm too tired of my life.

Anyways, i found some doodles that i wrote around 3 years ago, when i was going through my first heart break/depression phase ever!

The first one is from when my bestfriend started distancing herself from me, and got knew friends. I wasn't that sad since i knew that i was so clingy and annoying (even she told me about it). But then she moved to her hometown saying that her family needs to comeback there, and that she also appreciates it (she never told me why but i think it's already obvious lmao). I wrote poems for her, but i only found this one!

Even thought we never talk like before,
Even thought our souls are far,far away.
Even though we don't share our secrets anymore.
I'll still love you,my friend, always.
The sunshine i had in my heart already disappeared.
And shadow overwhelmed it instead.
I'm lonely,i need you by my side.
Please, comeback.

Wee! That was cringy. And full of mistakes. But don't judge me i was young back then 😂.

The other doodle was about my crush, who was acting like a boyfriend toward me but he never confessed, told me he loves me or anything. He would caress my cheeks and peck them, or he would whisper sweet nothings to me everyday. But it was all lies because apparently, one day he just snapped at me, saying that i'm the ugliest creature on earth and that i was too dump to realise that he was looking for a hoe to have fun with. (I mean he asked me to give him blowjobs/ have sex but i was too dense and in love to notice that he was an ugly fuckboy.)

Anyways, here's the doodle!

You've being on my mind since forever. I always heard that time changes people but i didn't expect it to be you. I wonder if i did something wrong that made you ignore me like this? You're special, atleast for me. I know I'm so dump for begging you to notice me after you played with my feelings but you can atleast say hi from time to time. I'm so heart broken... please don't go. I need you.

Istg i facepalmed around 5 times while typing this. Why was i so fucking stupid and innocent?????? And i just realised that I've being taking his lustful looks as loving stares!!!

Lol did i learn my lesson???? Probably not because i'm still a'xiumin things whenever i caught my crush (a new one who is as heart broken as me and he was rejected from his crush whom he still loves, but that's another story) stare at me!! 😂

Yup.. you could tell i really loved these people. They were special to me, but it seems like life has to be a bitch. I'm happy on my own! I'll adopt a million cats and be fine in the future!

Annnnd i'm done. Sorry for this sudden outburst.

Now, back to the story! We're reaching 20k views soon!!! Only around 100 views left! Isn't that great? 😭💜

And i've being working on a new chapter! I currently wrote 478 words! I might uptade on friday or saturday, after i finish the tons of homeworks i have 😩.

See you later! Love you 👀💜