{Avenged} My Nightmare {Sevenfold}

{Avenged} My Nightmare {Sevenfold} [28]

I fidgeted in the chair not daring to look at Matt and avoiding Dr. Steinworth's gaze.

"So Katie, did Matt talk to you before making this appointment?"

"Yes."

"And did you agree?"

I nodded.

"So you feel that you should be here?"

"I don't know."

"Alright. Honesty is what we are looking for I see you remember that."

I nodded.

"Have you remembered anything about the funeral?"

"Bits and pieces," I said looking at the floor. I didn't like to talk about those memories. I felt Matt's hand reach over and grip mine gently. I squeezed his hand and I felt him squeeze mine back. I took a deep breath and felt some of the tension leave my body.

"And how did you remember it?"

"It was a dream."

"Did you know you were dreaming at the time?"

I nodded.

"Have you told Matt about this?"

"Yes, he was the first one I told."

She marked something down in her notes.

"Matt you made the appointment and from what my secretary told me you were the one who suggested this?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell to me why you feel this was necessary?"

I felt him squeeze my hand.

"We've decided to give our relationship a try but I know that Kathy is still grieving and sometimes she feels guilty and like she's cheating on Jimmy. Dishonoring their love and his memory by moving on."

"Has he told you that he feels you feel this way?"

I nodded. "He's right," I said softly knowing her next question.

"Why do you think you feel that way?"

"Jimmy hasn't been gone that long and I've already moved on."

I felt Matt squeeze my hand reassuringly as I felt the tears prick my eyes.

"I would have to beg to differ Katie. From what I'm hearing and seeing in your responses and with the way you feel and Matt picking up on it, I would say that you haven't moved on at all."

"But..."

"Your life keeps going regardless of moving on, past the loss."

"So even though my life is continuing..."

"You haven't grieved for Jimmy yet. That's why you feel guilty and like you are cheating. You need to understand and accept that he is gone from your life to be able to move past his death."

I instantly thought of the ims that I sometimes got. Jimmy was still a part of my life. I laid my free hand on my baby bump.

"I know that being pregnant with the twins makes it a bit more difficult to concentrate on grieving. I'm not saying this is going to be an easy process or that it will even be complete before the twins are born but it is something that you are going to need to start working on."

I nodded.

"Matt how does her feeling this way make you feel?"

"I feel..."

He rubbed his other hand on the back of his neck. I bit my lip because he only did that when he was frustrated or nervous.

"It's alright Matt. Take your time, and remember that honesty is key. It's all we accept here."