WILD // (Harry Styles)

T H I R T Y T H R E E

CHAPTER 33

HARRY

It's the end of the night, and Claire still hasn't gotten home. It's 12 AM, and I haven't been able to reach her. I called Michael as well, but he didn't pick up. I don't know what she is doing, or who she is with. And I'm having trouble breathing because of it. I feel light headed, nauseous, and in relentless pain. Any minute, Zayn could take her away. Grab ahold of her hair, drag her into a van. There is no measures he won't take.

He took away her memories, which is more cruel than i thought he could be. He sent her back to me, wanting me to think she was dead. Then, she woke up again and gave me hope that I could be with her again. Gave me hope for her touch, for her love and for her life. Her life revolved around me before this happened, and that's how I want it.

But now, every time I try to drag her back to that life, she distances herself, refusing me herself. It hurts so fucking much.

I want her, I need her, and I can't live without her. But that isn't enough for her, nor should it be. She has to want me, need me, love me. And until now, I have not been worthy of her love. And I had hoped to be able to give her whatever she wants, take her out, entertain her, do all the things that made her love me in the first place. But right now, with my failing breath and my racing heart, it seems so difficult. Her not remembering me, not loving me, her neglecting me... It's changing me into a horrible, possessive, selfish person. Similar to the person I was before meeting her.

I drink the rest of the whisky I had poured myself earlier, my fingers trembling. They haven't touched her in so long, they are getting weak. I am getting weak.

•

CLAIRE

"I love... this," Niall breathes, holding me tightly, his hands on my waist. His touch makes me feel a kind of safety I haven't felt before. It feels right.

"So what does this mean?" He says, loosening his grip, his eyes staring into mine. My brows furrow and I take a deep breath, not expecting a question like that. It's a hard one to answer. I think he is hoping that I will say that I am leaving Harry, and I'm devoted to just him.

But gnawing feeling in my gut eats away when I think about the fact that Harry loves me too. Harry has loved me for 4 months, and I have always believed that I love him too. I believe I was as in love with him as he is with me. And I'm not quite sure I wanna give up on feeling that again. I am quite certain that if I were to remember, every feeling that I felt for Harry will come flooding back.

"I have to go home tonight," I say, and Niall's brows lower, but he nods carefully.

"I understand," He says, stroking a strand of hair away from my face. I slick his hair back, surprised by the answer.

"I just want you to be happy," he adds, and I melt under his gaze. Nobody has said that to me ever since I woke up. I place my hand on his cheek, every inch of me wanting to kiss him again, but I decide not to. I don't want to lead him on. I have to figure this whole situation with Harry out, and decide what I want to do.

"It's past midnight, want me to drive you home?" He asks, and I smile, nodding at him. After the day I've had, I can't wait to go home and sleep.

My stomach twists into knots when I think of the fact that Harry is gonna yell at me till my ears bleed, especially now when I didn't tell him where I was going. I even kissed Niall, the one person he thought he could forbid me from seeing. I'm actually dreading going home, I'm scared of what Harry will do.