WILD // (Harry Styles)

T H I R T Y

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CHAPTER 30

HARRY

I'm scared of today. The minute I woke up, I knew that this day won't be a good one. I already know that Claire will hate me after today.

Denying her to leave day after day is really taking it's toll on her--and me too. Because I see how unhappy she is. Whenever she is reminded that she has no choice but to stay in the same space for god knows how long... Her eyes weaken, her face weakens, her spirit weakens.

And I hate to see that in her, but I have no choice but to keep her away from the world until Zayn is caught. When I talked to Yang, she sugarcoated the fact that they are no closer to finding him. And it eats away at me, knowing he is out there, thinking about her.

Michael is really getting on my nerves. He keeps snapping at me, judging me from afar, judging how I treat Claire. But he doesn't know shit. Nobody does.

If Claire remembered, she would understand why I'm acting the way I am. She understood my love for her, but she forgot it. Nobody can understand why I'm acting the way I am, because they don't understand my feelings. The only one who did was Claire, but that part of her is gone. And I have to prepare myself for the fact that she might never come back.

I make myself a cup of coffee, and take sip as I stare out of the windows. I remember when we first came here, we had just kissed in front of the paparazzi at the airport, making ourselves official. And I will never forget the look on her face when she saw this view. They shimmered with hope, as they gazed at the countless grey buildings.

It's 6 AM, and I didn't sleep well. I came home after Louis had left and Claire pretty much avoided me. I got a few angry texts from Louis, and I figured that she told him that I'm not letting her leave the apartment. It said something about Claire isn't safe in the apartment, but she is. Every corner of this apartment is monitored by the police, and I don't leave the apartment unless I really have to, and when I do, I make sure the bodyguards are here and monitor Claire's every move.

The thing that keeps me going are the times before all of this happened. I had never been that happy, and neither had she. I also cling onto the the memory of when she said;

"I will always choose you."

I have to believe that in the end, she will. That she will choose me over anything else, like she promised to do back then.

I know I should be excited for today, this is a big day for her. But even though she kissed me two days ago, I can't escape the feeling that she is slowly slipping through my fingers.

The sunlight gets too bright for me to look at the view, so I turn away and walk into the living room. I rub my eyes as I feel an ache in my back. Claire used to massage my back every time I came home from meetings with music executives, which always made me feel better and relaxed. I miss her daily touch, and now that they are so few and far between, I realize how much more I should've savored the moments and appreciated the times she would touch my hand and kiss my lips.

I didn't realize I had reminisced for over an hour before I glance over at the clock. It's 7:12 AM. Time to wake her up.

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