WILD // (Harry Styles)

T H I R T Y S E V E N

CHAPTER 37

CLAIRE

"Fuuuuuck," I hear Michael in the distance, as I slowly wake up from my uneasy sleep.

"We overslept, my plane is leaving in an hour!" he says, pushing the duvet off and running to the suitcase to get dressed. I rub my eyes, and I realize my reality.

His eyes, greener than grass.

Him on his knees, holding onto the suitcase, unwilling to let me go. All up until I paralyzed him with one sentence, and I could walk through the door. Was getting away from him worth hurting him like that?

I will never forget the look he had in his eyes. For a moment, they were not greener than the brightest leaf. They were pale, weak, fragile. Was getting away from him worth witnessing that, knowing I made them that way?

It was all in the midst of anger, and fear. Every feeling of doubt and uncertainty towards Harry was magnified and released into the air when I realized that he had punched my best friend. Right before the doors slid open, I wanted to try again. Even with being angry, being disappointed... I figured that I was with him for a reason. I fell in love with him. I just wanted to understand why.

All of these questions and thoughts are causing anxiety to course through me, even before I open my eyes. I just wish for this feeling to stop. For me and him to stop hurting.

He deserves someone who makes him happy, and from what I've gathered in last weeks, that was me.

It was me.

"Claire! Get dressed, I really need to go!" Michael whines as he zips up his bag. I decide to get up, even though my stomach is churning with a million different emotions. I quickly put on a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie, and a pair of sneakers, following Michael downstairs and into a cab.

"Ah, I can't really process the fact that you're leaving," I say, furrowing my brows as I stare down at my fingers. When he leaves, that is one less person I can really trust. Louis and Liza are going back to LA soon, and the only people that I will know here in New York, will be Niall and Harry.

"I know, but you'll be alright Claire. I know you will be." Michael comforts, looking over at me, leaning his back against the car door. Somehow, I trust his words. There is an end to all of this, and I will come through and out the other side. And I'll be alright, because I will choose whatever is right for me.

Michael and I have known each other for 4 years, and I have always trusted him. And I still do. He's really the only one I have let myself trust ever since I woke up. He's the only one I knew to really know me. A thought strikes me, and I squint my eyes to look at him as I wonder; Maybe I've blindly believed whatever he has said about Harry these last few days?

I shake my head lightly, brushing the thought off. I can't think like that, because that would mean that I literally can't trust anyone. Michael wants what's best for me. I know it.

The buildings pass us quickly, as Michael politely tells the driver that we're in a hurry. He's going back to England. What I know as home. I had a life there once, 5 months ago. But after I met Harry, I gave it all up.

My life in England wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either, from what I can remember. Waking up every day to my parents fighting, blaming myself for their troubles. And maybe I was right to.

They are still in New York, but they are going home to England soon as well. The few times I've seen them here, they seemed... happy. Makes me wonder if my absence really mended their relationship. The thought hurts me.