Against All Odds -Destiel

Chapter 11

Troubled times
Caught between confusion and pain, pain, pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain
In vain, vain

...

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you One night will remind you
How we touched and went our Separate Ways
         - "Separate Ways" Journey

All week Cas was gone from school. Dean sat in an empty seat on the bus, unable to give Cas an explanation or any sort of apology. Dean even knocked on the door of their hideaway place  every day but nothing ever came. Soon, it began to feel like Castiel didn't even exist. That it was all in Dean's head. A faint memory of a long distant time filled with hope and adventure and love.

Dean felt uneasy about Cas not being in school all week. The only other time that boy had missed school was when Gabriel had taken him to the Elysium Motel after what had been, as Cas had described, the most terrifying experience he'd ever been through.

There was a bright side to Castiel being gone, though. Since they went their separate ways, Dean managed to speak with his teachers, apologize for all the mistakes he'd made such as skipping class, and ask for a chance to make it up. He was able to make all of his grades better so that, by the end of the week, he was back to a perfect streak of straight A's.

But this didn't take the weight off that Dean felt on his shoulders. It was as if he were Atlas, forced to hold the weight of the entire world upon his back with weakening and trembling muscles and labored breaths.

Of course, he gained back the approval of his father, who had been praising him all week for the amount of extra work his son put forth. Even working late at Bobby's was becoming a norm for Dean almost every day. It made Dean wonder, was it really about the grades, the money, and the praise and approval of his father? Or was it simply because he needed to work just to focus his mind on anything but what had happened? Dean became unfeeling and numb to most things. Like a tragic hero turned to stone.

Dean moved through his days as if underwater. All noise and commotion was drowned by his own thoughts as he retreated into the hard shell of his emotions. As he was on his way to lunch, planning to sit with Jo, Dean saw him standing there in their spot at the back of the cafeteria. His heart not only leapt, but did a full dance in his chest. Dean couldn't conceal his smile. It was such a relief to see that familiar dark mess of hair and that tattered leather jacket he always wore. It was like coming up for air.

But just as Dean found himself able to breathe again, he was shoved back down into the depths of the ocean of his mind. Cas's hand was pressed against the wall next to another boy's ear as he leaned in close so that their noses almost touched. A flirtatious smile appeared on Cas's face, one that Dean had never seen before. Dean stopped in his tracks, right in the middle of the hallway with his jaw open in painful disbelief. He should have known Cas would do something like this. Wasn't that how people like him acted?

As he sat across from Jo at lunch, Dean thought about how he could talk to Cas. Alone. Adrenaline made his heart beat like a drum when he remembered the boy who had just replaced him. Dean clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth. Was this anger? Jealousy? Why? Cas had every right to move on. All Dean ever wanted was for Cas to be happy, so why was he now feeling so horrible?

When the bell rang for the end of lunch, Dean hurried straight for their little storage room. Cas never told anyone of that place. It was their first secret. Their own sanctuary away from the rest of the world.