After she killed herself

19

I wake up with the sun in my eyes. I look over to my right, there is a girl with black hair laying asleep next to me. A blanket covers her bare chest. I remember last night. Memories seep like honey into my brain. I remember the way she felt. I look to my shoulder and see a little love bite she gave me. I chuckle as I remember her telling me it was a way of making me as hers. I look at the outline of her body against the Indian print blanket we are covered with. We are laying on the seats on her van, they folded down into a bed. 

I run my hand over the skin of her shoulder.I like the way it feels. I like the way she feels. Her back is to me. Her skin is soft. She has a tattoo running along her spine. She has a plant sprout behind her ear. I move closer to her and wrap my arm around her waist so I am a big spoon and she is a little one. I bury my face in her hair and breath in her scent. She smells like lemongrass and sleep. (Accidental song reference here. Comment if you know it)

I feel her stir. 

"Morning babe." She mumbles. Her voice is a little muffled and slurred. I kiss her shoulder as a response. I hear her chuckle. It is sweet. I have never seen this gentle sie of her. Erin us the kind of bitchy Goth kid. I never got to know her. She is really sweet once I talked to her. A sudden though occurs to me. I am nervose to ask but I cant stop myself from asking it. 

"Can I be your girlfriend Erin?" I ask. I burry my face in her hair again and regret saying what I just said. I can feel Erin pause. It is like the word halted and It is really painful and it lasts forever. 

"Sure." She says. I breathe out a sigh of relief. I didn't actually expect her to say yes. I can feel her breathe. Her stomach rises and falls. Her skin is smooth. I can vaguely hear some birds outside. It is like they are screaming for us to wake up.

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Erin's van has a small stove. She is cooking eggs. She also has a small mini fridge under the seats in the back.

Erin in confident with her body. I am hiding my body under an oversized sweater that She gave me. Erin does not want to hide anything. She likes to show it off with confidence I like that about her. She takes the eggs off of the stove and brings them over. She gives me half on my paper plate and dumps the rest on hers. 

During our breakfast, she catches me staring at her every once in a while. It doesn't seem to bother her but I can feel my face getting red every time. When I finish she takes my plate and folds in into the small garbage can. 

"You've been eying me all morning." She smirks.  I can feel my face reddening again I look down at my hands in my lap to hide it. "I don't mind babby, You're mine after all."  She lifts my chin with her fingers and my eyes scan her body once again. Dammit, I can't really stop though. She kisses me softly, then sits on my lap. 

I never noticed that her eyes were green. But I don't have much time to look at her eyes because I can feel the tips of her fingers creeping up my shirt. I get goose bumps and shiver a little. I close my eyes and she kisses me again.

I don't think I am straight anymore.

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