Girls Just Want to Have Fun(Twilight Fanfiction)

Girls Just Want to Have Fun Chapter 9: Closer p.11

Edward's Point of View

I loved Bella Swan with all of my heart and I would die before I hurt her in any way. But I knew failing to be intimate with Bella over the past few weeks was causing my Bella to feel pain and anguish. I know I had promised her I would try and I really thought I could, however each time she asked, I didn't feel ready. The fear of hurting or even killing my Bella was too much to bear. I wanted to try but every time we tried, my body and mind froze like ice. I became scared and moved farther from her and sometimes I even left her. It was so tough to leave her, I could smell her desire and damn did I want to touch and be inside her. I knew I wasn't ready and I felt guilty for saying I could. It pained me to see the hurt in her eyes every time I crept away from her as though she was some sort of disease, but I had to. Although Bella never said anything to me, I knew she was hurting inside and it pained me because I didn't know what to do.

As soon soon as Bella began to talk in Math class, I knew what she going to ask.

"Edward can we try tonight?" She whispered quietly.

"Try what Bella?" I asked trying to sound as though I had no idea what she was talking about, but I did know. I knew as soon as I heard her sigh, I wasn't fooling her.

"You know exactly what I mean Edward Cullen! You promised me you would try, why would you say that to me if you had no intentions of trying?" She asked demanding I tell her why I wasn't trying.

I didn't know what to say or do. What could I do? I sighed in frustration feeling as though I was running out of options. Or perhaps I was scared of actually overcoming my fears of hurting Bella. I was afraid I would never overcome my fears at all, and I was worried. How could I tell Bella that? I was a vampire; vampires are tough and strong, they do not fear.

"Bella I told you I would try, please just give me some time." I honestly answered.

"Your lying aren't you Edward? You don't want to try do you? You are still afraid you are going to hurt me?" She asked becoming angry as I could see her eyes start to narrow with rage.

"Bella of course I want to try..." I said trying to sound as though I could try. Of course I wanted to. Oh God every day I dreamed about her beautiful body and touching her bountiful breasts. Every day I dreamt about my manhood being inside her wet body. I just wish I wasn't scared.

"All I want is for you to try, even if we kiss that is fine by me but you are not even trying to make an effort Edward! Why?" She asked.

I had no idea what I was going to say to Bella's question but thank god I didn't need to think because the school bell rung signaling the end of the day. I was saved by the bell!

Bella severely slammed her books on the desk as she grabbed them and placed them in her bag.

I watched as Bella put her books in her bag, then watched Mike approach. Ever since I met Mike I knew he was into Bella so I always watched him carefully and today wasn't any different. I watched as Mike started to talk to Bella. My Bella.

"Wow is everything okay Bella, looks like you are giving those books a nice beating, what did they do to you?"

"Yeah I'm okay Mike, just a long day, thanks though." She said smiling.

"Well tonight at the Funky Munky they are having a live DJ and 4 dollar drinks and I was wondering if you would like to go, Angela, Eric and Jessica are going. It will be a lot of fun and a great way to relieve your stress. You are welcome to invite Edward and the Cullen's." Mike said.