Caught

Sixteen

(I am so sorry about the long waits for updates I'm so busy lately :( I'm on vacation now though so I have more free time, you guys should check out my Instagram @harrysstyles19 I have a new theme! Can I just say I don't real picture Sarah Hyland as Shannon anymore, I feel like Shannon more rough if that makes any sense. So I don't picture her as Sarah anymore if anyone has any ideas tell me! Thank you for all you support I love you guys!! <3)

I haven't left in three days.

All sounds for the outside haven't been heard for some time. Of course there's the occasional footsteps rushing down the hallway, or the leaves will rustle in the tree outside my window. I never truly hear it though, it's drowned out by the screams ringing through my head. Other than that, nothing but weeping and cries can be heard. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life than in the past few days. It's almost as if something has been ripped out of me, something important. I just can't quiet put my finger on it. Maybe I'm going insane, lost in my own mind.

All I've come to know is that there's always happy endings, you end up with the one you love. Let me tell you right now that statement is total bullshit. The idea of romance that has been put into movies is, in my opinion disgusting. Yes, of course it's beautiful and peaceful but it's not the truth. I've always had this small beacon of hope, hope that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. So far I've come to learn that I may not even make it through, because sometimes it's ok to let go and that's just what I may do.

As hard as I try to push myself over so I can just end it all, I never actually do it. My mind will toucher me and toucher me nearly bring me to the choice of death. Then it all stops, I fall in a sobbing heap on the ground unable to commence the final step. I just lie there shaking in my own self pity.

Death is something that many are afraid of, I mean I should know I once was too. Now though, I feel ready I have much bigger worries than death. To me it seems like a relief from all the hate and stress, no one else seems to understand my point of view on this. I'm not scared of death anymore, I'm scared of myself.

I want my life back, I want to feel again. Therefore ending things would ruin the chances of either of those things ever happening again. All I need to do is move on, like any other person. However I'm not any other person, I'm a broken girl that just need to fix herself.

*One week later*

"Come on Shannon, what's taking you so long?" My new found friend Jordan shouts through the bathroom door.

"Oh shut up, you'd take just as long if it was you first time out!" I shout back clearly angered.

It's been a rough week and a half, but I'm finally getting back on track. My teachers allowed me to take my work to my dorm, rather than going to class. The only times I would have to leave my room was to pick up the next few assignments early in the morning when no one was up yet. I'd go back to my room and do all my work in the first day and have the next couple days to myself, where in my free days I would reflect and pull myself together. At least put together whatever was left of me.

"Just hurry up!" Jordan laughs back at me.

I open the bathroom door, and Jordan's jaw drops. She's in shocked as if shes seen a ghost. "What?" I question her worried if I look that terrifying.

"Nothing, you just look amazing!" The tone in her voice tells me there was no sarcasm intended and she did really believe that. I don't know why, what I'm wearing isn't anything special.

"Thanks." I laugh as I shyly look down. I didn't look that good. I was only wearing black leggings with a large gray sweater over them, but apparently that's pretty good. I walk over to my dresser grabbing my small locket and slipping it over my head, then tucking it under my sweater.