Fame|| g.d

xxviii

Sacrifice.

Letting go of what you love.

Sacrifice is the most hurtful part of love. That moment when you realise that if you really love someone, you have to let them go. Not for yourself, but entirely for them. You know it'll hurt a fucking lot, but you still do it.

Not for yourself, but for only them.

It is hard to prepare yourself for sacrifice. Until the last moment, there is that one voice that keeps begging you to try harder, to keep them with you. But then reality hits in, and you have to accept the fact that there is no choice.

You know the worst of it all? When you realize that they are the reason you are happy, but you know that they'll be happier without you. And even though it fucking hurts, you let them go because you'd rather see them happy without you then be happy with them around you.

~~~~

I'm going to tell him. I'm going to face him and I will tell him what I've been going through and it hurt me to see that he didn't support me at all.

Yess, you're finally on the right track.

I took a deep breath in and looked at myself in the mirror. I did hard and deep thinking over the weekend and I've come to the right decision. Over the two days I also mustered up enough courage to actually talk to him without looking away or crying. I will do it today.

You can do it!

I know. I have to.

      I grabbed my bag and went downstairs. My mom was the first person I saw. "Oh Good morning Eileen" Mom spoke when I entered the kitchen. "'Morning mom" I replied opening the fridge and grabbed an apple. "What do you want to eat today? I haven't started cooking anything yet. " "Actually mom I'm not that hungry. I think I'll leave for school now." "I'll eat this on my way. " I said showing the apple in my hand. "Okay honey have a good day!" "You too! Love ya" I replied walking out of the door.

      The walk to school was peaceful. I kept my mind occupied by observing the streets I know too well closely, to prevent myself from over thinking. It actually worked. That's a first.

     I reached the school campus soon enough. I took a deep breath and walked to my locker. I knew Abby wouldn't be here yet since I came pretty early and well, my locker is the only place I can be alone and not awkward. It's also close to Grayson's so I'll find a perfect time to talk to him too.

     I was in such good mood. My heart was excited to talk to Grayson after so long and my brain refused to let any dark thoughts get to me. I was so prepared to be with Grayson again and his impact was already making movements happening.

    I walked to my locker slowly in order to pass time. I have no interest in standing there like a stranded dog who doesn't know where to go.

What will you say to him?

I'll tell him about the depression and anxiety that I've suffered through and still am.

How can you just walk up to him and say this?

I'll go along the conversation!

And why do you think he'll care? It's not like he  caused it.