Our Love Story | Kim Seokjin

his voicemail + the hurtful mixtape

It sucks, honestly. I didn't know why I thought that listening to him singing the noisy songs would sound so great, I mean was I really blinded by him—oh, yeah, in fact I was madly in love.

At the starting of the mixtape was his voice and he said; "Hello Wendy Darling, so you see, I made this amazing mixtape for you. So special and only for you, I know you won't like it but listen to them whenever you miss me, alright?"

I hated how he knew that I would miss him which was why he made the mixtape before his wedding. I had been a total mess ever since last month. My room was like a wrecked boat or more like the titanic.

Every time the song started, he would mention the name of the song first. And I hated when the part he said; "So Wendy, this is my favourite of all in my life. It's 'Somewhere In Neverland', by All Time Low."

There was my name in the song and it was ridiculously a love song. It made me feel awful while listening to it but at the same time I was happy.

One more month, he would become a married man in a manly tux with a beautiful bride of his, next to him—and I would be here, listening to the mixtape over and over again in the pool of my own miserable tears.

"Wendy, would you please keep the volume down?"

I sighed as I stood up to walk over the old stereo and turned the volume down. I looked at the screen of my phone—there was like more than ten missed calls and voicemails.

So I picked up my phone and checked it. I lost my balanced once I realised that Jin had sent me a lot of voicemails.

"Wendy, um how are you?"

I scoffed a little. "Ah, I probably fine after everything," I sarcastically answered even though he couldn't listen.

Then I clicked another one. "I know that you're upset of me and also mad about everything what I had done...please don't forgive me..."

"Tsk, I never said I would forgive you."

And then I clicked another one. "Wendy, I know that I confused you and I was also confused of myself."

I was annoyed that his voicemails were sentences by sentences and I had to click every each of them to finish everything. So I got on my bed and lied down, listening a few more.

"There are just thousands of words in my head for you to know but I just couldn't say it out."

"Did you open the packages already?"

"Did you listen to the mixtape I gave you?"

"I couldn't say it to you so I handed you all those packages and the cassette for you to understand."

"Wendy, it's not that I'm playing with your feelings."

"I kind of thought that actually, you were the one who played with my feelings."

"I'm not blaming you but Wendy, I asked you more than one time and your answer had hurt me more."

"I showed you a lot but you left me unsaid."

"Please answer my calls, I miss you voice."

"I miss you a lot."

"Your laugh,"

"Your smile,"

"You, Wendy, I miss you so bad."

"I'm sorry for what had happened to us."

"Baby we don't talk anymore,"

"What was all of it before?"

I smiled a little when I suddenly remembered that time when we were at the beach and the song played after that. "You idiot," I muttered under my breath.

"I know this is stupid but Wendy, you're like a dream to me and I want to remain, I want to dream more...even so, it's time for me to leave. Maybe I can't fly...like the flower petals over there or as though I have wings. Maybe I can't touch the sky, Wendy...but still I want to stretch my hand out...sometimes I want to run, just a bit more."

"I walked among the darkness and my happy times asked me if I was okay. Wendy, do you think I'm okay? Am I okay?"

"Wendy, don't cry. I'm wide awake now...I'm not lying so don't cry."

"Take care..."

{And yes, it was from Awake by Jin. I edited a few words to make it more wordy instead of lyric-ish}